The other day, I caught wind of a truly sad story. Someone (Jay Branscomb) had posted on Facebook a picture of Steven Spielberg squatting next to a deceased triceratops with the following comment: “Disgraceful photo of recreational hunter happily posing next to a triceratops he just slaughtered. Please share so the world can name and shame this despicable man” (see photo below). Now I'm not upset about the deceased dinosaur, because...you know...they've been extinct for 65 million years. Naturally the photo was taken from the set of Jurassic Park - one of my favorite Spielberg movies!
No, what saddened me was how many people did not recognize this posting for what it was: A JOKE! Morons. Here is just a small sampling of our education system at work. These are the actual comments left about the photo:
- "Steven Spielberg has absolutely no respect for animals. Posing in front of this poor dead animal like that. Barbaric."
- "Like, OMG how could you kill an innocent (c)reature like that???!!! What did it ever to do you???!! Like, what is wrong with you???!!"
- "What a sad, disgusting scene ... a wry smile on his face while this once proud mother animal breathes it's last ... leaving the babies cowering in the brush to slowly, painfully starve to death ... oh the humanity!!"
- "One day we realize that we are killing all animals on this planet and we need them to survive. But when we realize it will be too late."
Really, people? Grammatical errors aside, these are some stupid ass people. There were a few commentators who knew where the photo was from but didn't quite understand that it had been posted satirically: "Hey Branscomb, are you really that f------ much of a(n) idiot. Ever seen the movie called Jurassic Park. Most of you that think this is a Triceratops, like this idiot that posted this." Okay, I understand that someone didn't understand the satire, but those other people - do they not understand that dinosaurs are dead? <sigh>
As dumb as those statements were, I thought I'd research some of the dumbest things said EVER. I decide to put in a mix of statements from the famous and not famous. Without further ado, for your entertainment:
- Amy on Facebook: I'm so glad that the guy who was suppose to look out for icebergs fell asleep. Otherwise the titanic would have never sank and this movie would have never been made." [Yes, because it was worth the death of 1,517 people, so you can be entertained.]
- Shaquille O'Neal: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to." (on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece) [Good thing he wasn't being paid for his mind.]
- Liquorice on Twitter: "Wtf is obamas last name? Does anyone know?" [Der]
- Britney Spears on Japan: "I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." [Yes, and South Africa is located in Asia.]
- Kevin on Yahoo Answers: "Can your baby get pregnant if you have sex while pregnant? Like the baby is a girl, and you have sex and the sperm goes to her while in the womb" [Please, please, please tell me this guy is not procreating!]
- Marion Barry, former mayor of Washington, D.C.: "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." [Yeah, you know, outside of the inconsequential killings.]
- Anon on Yahoo Answers: "Does it rain in Australia? Me and my friend are having an argument, she says that it rains in Australia but it can't can it because obviously the rain falls to the top of the world but at the bottom of the world it wouldn't fall to earth it would fall into space." [I guess Aussies don't understand the movie, Singin' in the Rain. Tragic.]
- Pat Robertson: "It may be a blessing in disguise. ... Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. Haitians were originally under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon the third, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you will get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it's a deal. Ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other." (on the earthquake in Haiti that destroyed the capital and killed tens of thousands of people, Jan. 13, 2010) [Ah, the devil is in the details.]
- Kim Kardashian: "I spoke to a girl today who had cancer and we were talking about how this is such a hard thing for her, but it taught her a big lesson on who her friends are and so much about life. She's 18. And I was like, that's how I feel." [Oh, fuck you, Kim Kardashian. Why is she ever allowed to open her mouth? And why is she famous?]
- Mariah Carey: "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." [Bite me, bitch.]
5 comments:
First, I'd like to address this issue, because I've been following this thing. Are we sure that some of the comments weren't playing along with the joke/hoax?
I think you're giving people way too much credit. Or maybe I've just become a cynic and think that everyone is stupid. Then again, every news report is all about how people are serious about their comments.
Just playing Devil's advocate here. But I think you're correct. People are way too dumb.
Yeah, I was kind of surprised because you're a bigger cynic than I am. :-)
The other thing is that famous are not known for being intelligent, sincere or sympathetic. As for the anonymous people, they are always idiots. Pat Robertson is typical of bible thumping nut jobs who thinks he could fix the country through prayer. He hasn't a prayer to ever being elected President. Kim and Mariah are just C's. That's what they're famous for.
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