We've hit day 16 and a most annoying assignment: "something that you miss."
Let me start out by saying: I'm not an overly sentimental person - unlike my mother. Oddly, when clearing out my mother's house, my brother and I found unorganized boxes of greeting cards - every card my mother received for every possible holiday (anniversary, birthday, Valentine's, and others) over the course of 50+ years and I kept thinking "Why? Why keep all that crap?" You see, I toss greetings cards within a short amount of time after receiving them, depending on who they're from and what they're wishing. Don't get me wrong, I do keep a few things that are sentimental, just not every little thing.
Therefore, not being a sentimentalist, I never understood the whole "missing" something...that is, until about four years ago when I lost something that I had found a few months prior. Until you have something, you cannot actually miss it. What do I mean? Let me give you an example: a friend who grew up in a single parent household was once asked if she missed having a father. Her response: "How do you miss something you never had?" Excellent reply!
Therefore, not being a sentimentalist, I never understood the whole "missing" something...that is, until about four years ago when I lost something that I had found a few months prior. Until you have something, you cannot actually miss it. What do I mean? Let me give you an example: a friend who grew up in a single parent household was once asked if she missed having a father. Her response: "How do you miss something you never had?" Excellent reply!
I've mentioned my past heartache before (most recently Day 1): four and half years ago, I met an amazing person. We seemed to have an immediate connection and, even though we lived over 200 miles apart, we managed to create a friendship that became one of the most important of my life. I admit I fell hard for this person, but the relationship didn't last for a myriad of reasons. While I still miss this person, that's not the focus of my "something that I miss".
The something that I miss is the daily connection that I had with this person. Every day, we managed to chat with each other - sometimes for only a few minutes, sometimes for hours. It was just so amazing to have someone with whom I could talk with about life; silly things, sad things, happy things, etc. Those of you who have a significant other with whom you share your hopes, dreams, and frustrations will understand this scenario. What I truly miss: having someone whom I cared for that I could come home to; who will provide me with emotional support and advice; and conversely, I can provide them with the same. That human connection. Yes, my cat provides me love and affection, but it's not the same. For those of you who happen to have a person like this in your life, please go home and tell them how much you love and appreciate them. For if you lose them, it is devastating.
Like my friend with no father, I didn't know what was missing from my life before January 2010. Now that I know, my life has a yawning chasm that will forever be unfilled and that chasm widens a bit each day. All I can do is walk around the edges and hope I don't fall into the pit. There's an old saying that "You never know what you have until you lose it." I call shenanigans on this statement. At least for me, I knew what I had...
Oh, one more thing: I also really miss having a pool in which to swim.
Next up: Day 17 - Am I an actual Aquarian?
The something that I miss is the daily connection that I had with this person. Every day, we managed to chat with each other - sometimes for only a few minutes, sometimes for hours. It was just so amazing to have someone with whom I could talk with about life; silly things, sad things, happy things, etc. Those of you who have a significant other with whom you share your hopes, dreams, and frustrations will understand this scenario. What I truly miss: having someone whom I cared for that I could come home to; who will provide me with emotional support and advice; and conversely, I can provide them with the same. That human connection. Yes, my cat provides me love and affection, but it's not the same. For those of you who happen to have a person like this in your life, please go home and tell them how much you love and appreciate them. For if you lose them, it is devastating.
Like my friend with no father, I didn't know what was missing from my life before January 2010. Now that I know, my life has a yawning chasm that will forever be unfilled and that chasm widens a bit each day. All I can do is walk around the edges and hope I don't fall into the pit. There's an old saying that "You never know what you have until you lose it." I call shenanigans on this statement. At least for me, I knew what I had...
Oh, one more thing: I also really miss having a pool in which to swim.
Next up: Day 17 - Am I an actual Aquarian?
11 comments:
My heart goes out to you but if I have learned anything it is that love finds you when and where you least expect it and when it does you have to be able to recognize and embrace it otherwise it won't happen. The relationships that don't work just prepare us for the ones that will. So keep your eyes, ears and heart open and someone worthwhile will come into your life. You certainly deserve to be happy.
Oh, no. I'm not going through any of this again. I will live out the rest of my life alone. It's too heartbreaking.
This is easy for me. Since moving to West Texas I pretty much miss everything the east coast had to offer. I miss the beaches and the boardwalks, the lights of Times Square, the Brooklyn and Verrazano bridges, (not the GW), real bagels, street vendor hot pretzels, fresh seafood, hard rolls, good Chinese food and pizza. I miss thunderstorms, chilly Halloween nights and the smell of burning wood from fireplaces in the winter. I miss being able to do anything at anytime and having such a variety of things to do. I miss flea markets and county fairs, Great Adventure and the outlet malls. What I miss the most is being able to hang out with friends and family just bs-ing over a beer. Will I ever move back? Probably not because these old bones are too tired to shovel snow, drive in bad weather and deal with crowds. I love the weather here. You cannot beat wearing shorts 10 months out of the year. But Jersey will always be in my heart and in my attitude!
OMG, how do you live in Texas! I would go crazy without all that stuff. I may not live near NYC anymore but it's a mere 4 hour car ride away. Sad.
Oh stop, we all have suffered heartbreak only to find happiness
Well, cousin. We will have to agree to disagree on this point.
You need to order a Korean Mail Order Groom.
Hmmm. I thought they were all Russian or Ukrainian or some shit like that?
Good point, but I think you can order some Asian. One from column A and you get an egg roll with that.
That is so wrong on so many levels!
Deep stuff from the Smith's tonight. I applaud the honesty. Miss smith may I remind you of your past post regarding a person who inspires you. She didn't give up so don't you either missy! Back on the proverbial horse. Tom... I got nuthin'
I miss the days of aunts, uncles and cousins gathering and not just for funerals. That's the extent of my "share".
Better be some lighter shit tomorrow! Can we revisit pet peeves, barely scratched the surface.
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