Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
Ladies: Do you find the following statements running through your brain: "I'm not good enough." "I'm valued for what I do rather than who I am." "I'm unlovable."? Do you feel emptiness inside, and a general lack of contentment? Do you struggle with love relationships and have difficulty trusting people? Do you fear that you will become like your mother? If so, have I got a book for you to read. I've mentioned in a previous posting that I usually find self help books to be pretty useless, but I happened to stumble upon a book while researching something for school and the title intrigued me enough to pick up and read: Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers (2008) by Karyl McBride, Ph.D.
Synopsis: "The first book for daughters who have suffered the abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life. Drawing on more than two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women’s health and hundreds of interviews with suffering daughters, Dr. Karyl McBride helps you recognize the widespread effects of this emotional abuse and create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and complete recovery.
Narcissistic mothers teach their daughters that love is not unconditional, that it is given only when they behave in accordance with maternal expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters have difficulty overcoming feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, emotional emptiness, and sadness. They may also have a fear of abandonment that leads them to form unhealthy romantic relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism or to self-sabotage and frustration..." (Amazon.com)
Narcissistic mothers teach their daughters that love is not unconditional, that it is given only when they behave in accordance with maternal expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters have difficulty overcoming feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, emotional emptiness, and sadness. They may also have a fear of abandonment that leads them to form unhealthy romantic relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism or to self-sabotage and frustration..." (Amazon.com)
Review: I spent a lot of time and money discussing with my former therapist about growing up with narcissistic parents, but never really got a good grasp on how to deal with these emotions, which is why I'm glad I stumbled across this book. In Will I Ever Be Good Enough?, Dr. McBride draws from her 28 years as a therapist and from her own experience as such a daughter and creates a guide that is at once rigorous and deeply personal.
The book is divided into three parts designed to lead daughters raised by narcissistic mothers into recovery. Part One is about identifying the situation you are in and understanding how it changed you as a child. Part Two demonstrates that the results of the emotional abuse of the past are the pain and difficulties you are dealing with now as an adult. Part Three discusses how you can recover from your traumatic childhood and lead a happier and more fulfilling life.
Will I Ever Be Good Enough? is a practical guide to help daughters of narcissistic mothers to recover from the effects of their mothers' mistreatment. It is not intended to be a full scale discussion of the causes and treatment of narcissism nor of any current scientific theories, but a source to help the people most severely impacted by it. McBride offers specific behaviors to help with recovery. It is well organized and reasonably easy to follow. The writing is solid and engaging. Overall, this is a terrific book and a real support for those women who have or had narcissistic mothers.
The book is divided into three parts designed to lead daughters raised by narcissistic mothers into recovery. Part One is about identifying the situation you are in and understanding how it changed you as a child. Part Two demonstrates that the results of the emotional abuse of the past are the pain and difficulties you are dealing with now as an adult. Part Three discusses how you can recover from your traumatic childhood and lead a happier and more fulfilling life.
Will I Ever Be Good Enough? is a practical guide to help daughters of narcissistic mothers to recover from the effects of their mothers' mistreatment. It is not intended to be a full scale discussion of the causes and treatment of narcissism nor of any current scientific theories, but a source to help the people most severely impacted by it. McBride offers specific behaviors to help with recovery. It is well organized and reasonably easy to follow. The writing is solid and engaging. Overall, this is a terrific book and a real support for those women who have or had narcissistic mothers.
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
6 comments:
Parents suck. Glad I never was one.
I'd like to think that they don't all suck, but ours certainly did.
Amen. Awomen. And a Hallabaloo to ya, ma sistah.
Well, my parents didn't suck, but that somehow didn't stop me from marrying someone who it turns out is a narcissistic harpy. I've been trying to extricate myself from this relationship for years now, and also trying to find ways of protecting my DD so that she does not turn into a carbon copy of her dear mother...
They reel you in with their charm and then start kill you one sting at a time. We are then told we need to understand them and their pain. What a load of horsesh**t. These psychopaths need to be locked up. There needs to be some warning label slapped on their foreheads so that totally normal, emotional health men stay away from the.
Well said, Unknown. I will tell you that out of two girls that my crap mother birthed - only 1 became a narcissist (my sister), so your lovely girl has a chance. Hopefully, your daughter will have better success at not being affected by her mother's selfishness. Best of luck to you both.
Unknown is me - Ken Duckworth
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