I'm sitting at home, not doing anything special. When all of a sudden, a multitude of friends begin showing up, one at a time - totally unplanned. My apartment eventually is filled with nearly all of my friends: some from high school, college, past and current jobs, actor friends, etc. We're having a good time chatting, eating appetizers, imbibing on beverages, and such. The apps and beverages showing up magically as happens in dreams. Then just as one by one they arrived, one by one they start saying goodbye to me. But it's not a normal "goodbye/see you soon", it's a "goodbye/I'm sad that I'll never see you again". As I'm saying goodbye to these lovely people, I'm continually looking over everyone's shoulder for that one person whom I want so desperately to be there but has been a no show so far. As I'm down to saying goodbye to my last handful of friends left, this missing friend finally arrives, gives me the longest hug goodbye, and immediately leaves without saying a word. I say goodbye to the rest of my friends, close the door and take a seat on my couch - emotionally drained.
After that, the dream dissolved into a new dream - a weird yet interesting dream about a campground with wizards and witches. I have got to find out if that place exists in reality.
This dream is pretty easy for me to interpret. I had made a decision a few weeks ago that if I were to succumb to the cancer that is traversing through my body that I'd like to have a gathering to say goodbye to all the important people in my life. Now that the chemotherapy seems to be working for the moment, it's less of a crucial decision. But if the cancer were to come back - whether it be a year or 5 years, I would like to plan and attend my own memorial. Why have people gather to memorialize me after I go belly up? Let's have a party instead! Basically, I would rent out a hall/pub/restaurant, etc. where all my friends and family would be able to congregate and give myself a chance to say "ciao" to my loved ones. Actually I'd probably need to do 3 parties - Florida, NYC and Massachusetts so I can cover all the important people in my life. This dream represents that decision. The friend who showed up late in my dream is the one person that I expect to never see again in real life, but he came to say goodbye to me in a dream. I guess it's the best I can expect from that past relationship, which was the subject of a recent post about unfinished business. I suppose if I can't resolve it in real life, I'm trying to resolve it in dreams. Fascinating!
Do you analyze your dreams? What do they say about you?
This dream is pretty easy for me to interpret. I had made a decision a few weeks ago that if I were to succumb to the cancer that is traversing through my body that I'd like to have a gathering to say goodbye to all the important people in my life. Now that the chemotherapy seems to be working for the moment, it's less of a crucial decision. But if the cancer were to come back - whether it be a year or 5 years, I would like to plan and attend my own memorial. Why have people gather to memorialize me after I go belly up? Let's have a party instead! Basically, I would rent out a hall/pub/restaurant, etc. where all my friends and family would be able to congregate and give myself a chance to say "ciao" to my loved ones. Actually I'd probably need to do 3 parties - Florida, NYC and Massachusetts so I can cover all the important people in my life. This dream represents that decision. The friend who showed up late in my dream is the one person that I expect to never see again in real life, but he came to say goodbye to me in a dream. I guess it's the best I can expect from that past relationship, which was the subject of a recent post about unfinished business. I suppose if I can't resolve it in real life, I'm trying to resolve it in dreams. Fascinating!
Do you analyze your dreams? What do they say about you?
7 comments:
Very cool. Your dreams make much more sense than mine. Mine are all CGI, no plot. Must be why I'm an artist and not a writer.
Ooooh, fun! Can I have a guest invite to your dreams???? Pretty please!!!!!
I would love that because I can't even describe them - it's a total "you had to be there" kind of thing.
Well, after reading this blog post last night..... my mom and I "floated" from Canada, across the Peace Bridge, back to Buffalo. She spoke to me in my dream, which RARELY happens. (Of course, she was yelling at me.... but its all good.) Also, someone who has not enough nerve, or courtesy, to say good bye in real life, well, he said good bye in my dream as well. XOXOXOXO Love you!
Yeah, it's not quite as good as the real life goodbye but it's something I suppose. Not exactly closure but.... Glad your mom spoke to you! xoxoxo!! Love you!
I prefer to think that this was the goodbye that cancer-Sandi needed to have. Recovering-Sandi can let go of some of those old fears and move on!
Very positive way of thinking, Jacqueline. <3 you so!
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