Sunday, October 12, 2014

The Bigger Fool?

Here's an age old question:

Who is the bigger fool? The person who consistently deceives and disappoints others (the "Deceiver") or the person who continues to give Deceivers a chance to redeem themselves and then is constantly let down by them (the "Believer")?

For me, it's an easy answer: The Believer is the fool.

It's wrong to expect the Deceiver to change who they are; therefore, they cannot be the fool. They're either heartless and cruel or delusional about the harm they inflict, but they are who they are. Like the old adage says: "A leopard can't change their spots: - no matter how hard they try. Therefore, we must stop expecting Deceivers to change their spots.

No, the fool is the Believer - the person who doesn't learn from history. The one who keeps giving Deceivers second, third, fourth, hundredth chances to prove themselves and then repeatedly gets hurt when time and time again the Deceivers fail.

I am, of course, speaking as someone who is a Believer. It is one of the aspects of myself that I equally love and hate. I love that I will forever try to see the good in people and give them chance after chance to redeem themselves, but it's one of the things I hate because it often gives me such misery and grief. But I know that I will continue to give people more chances in the hopes that one day I won't be disappointed.

If I were to write an epitaph for my tombstone (a futile endeavor as I will not have a tombstone), it would say:
Here lies a Foolish Believer
She got burned time and time again
But refused to ever give up on the people she loved

 Ah well, I suppose this leopard can't change her spots either.

9 comments:

Lee said...

From one believer to another. ...although we have been hurt time and time again.....we are who we are and I don't think we could ever be happy any other way..... love you, my friend!

Sandi said...

So true. But it's ever so slightly depressing to be repeatedly disillusioned. Love you more!!!

Lee said...

I could not agree with you more.....

Tom said...

I was never a deceiver. I used to be a believer. Now I trust no-one. I'm a skeptic.

Marianne said...

Ah a true doubting Thomas. I am a believer but only for so long. Fortunately I have the capacity to give up on people and move on. Just gotta find something new to believe in.

Jodi said...

I'm the fool too!!!! Again and again

Sandi said...

Jodi and Lee, it's why we're educators because being a Believer (aka fool) is what good teaching is all about.

Jodi said...

I have vivid memories of you and Troy walking me across town to stop believing! Xoxo

Sandi said...

You'd do the same for me, my friend, if we lived closer!