I've always remembered this quote from Boys on the Side (1995): "So, which one of them were you? The one who loved too much or the one who loved too little?" as spoken by Jane (Whoopi Goldberg). I've always been the one who cares too much and sometimes it comes back to bite me in the butt. With career changing to teaching, I knew this nurturing nature of mine might be an issue. It definitely was an issue with managing my classroom over the summer. We're at the 6 week mark this school year and the honeymoon period is over. So naturally, I'm having behavior issues in my classes. Actually, one of my students told me that I showed my "cool side way too soon". Well, I suppose it's good to know that a student considers that a teacher has a cool side. The past couple of weeks, my students have been nearly uncontrollable. There's an old teacher adage which says "Don't smile until Christmas" but that is just not my nature.
This week, I finally had to nip some of the more obnoxious behavior in the butt. My students have a really nasty habit of saying a few words that I find to be particularly offensive. I'm not talking about dropping f-bombs, which they occasionally do. No, what I'm talking about is using racial or homophobic slurs. They use the n-word in casual conversation like you and I would say "hi." Let alone, the fact that some of them call each other the f-word (think homophobic insult). Drives me crazy! I finally had to drop the hammer on this behavior when I heard the n-word used 3 times in a matter of 2 minutes. I told my students that they can never use those words in my classroom ever again and I had to have a 10 minute conversation on how these words are offensive. Then one student, who is usually decently behaved, but must have been having an off day, used the n-word 2 more times. Now, he wasn't being purposefully malicious. He honestly doesn't even realize that he's saying this offensive word. Consequently, he ended up in detention with me and has learned his lesson.
When I was nipping this behavior, I had a student who said something equally disturbing to me. He said that if he was hanging out with a friend who was gay, then people would automatically think that he was gay too and how he would be really ticked off about that. Seriously?! Okay, I keep having to remind myself that I'm dealing with immature juveniles. Also, this district is 96% Hispanic and this anachronistic way of thinking is prevalent in the Hispanic community. These kids are in for a rude awakening when they get out into the real world. Again, makes me very sad and concerns me a lot! I have a lot of work to do over the next few months on getting my seniors ready for the real world. Not just academically but also socially. Next week, I have a professional speaker coming to talk to my senior classes about professionalism. I hope at least some of them will listen and understand.
2 comments:
I believe that teenagers learn from example, from those peers they wish to emulate and from images they absorb via the media. However the strongest influence upon their behavior and self-esteem emulate from those adults they have the most contact with: family members and their teachers. The observation is probably astute that you showed your “cool side way too soon.” But that is understandable. You are have a warm and caring heart and to be a T-1000 until Christmas, is well, mechanical and fake. Teenagers pick up on fake faster than TSA pat-down. Don’t sweat who you are. And who you are takes offense to obnoxious behavior which left unchecked evolves into hate speech. I suspect that most teenagers do not understand the origin and meaning of nigger or faggot. And possibly because of the media the meaning of these words now have different meanings to our youngest generation. As a teacher, you understand your responsibility to educate and help them understand. Keep at it. Thanks for sharing.
Awwww, thanks, Alvin! Yeah, I can't be a T-1000 that's for sure. They would have eaten me alive for that!
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