Decision Made - Next Steps (A Cancer Update)

As everyone is now aware, I have a big decision to make on what to do about my recurrent cancer metastases (see September 2 blog), but to sum up the choices: same chemo treatment from last year, Tamoxifen, Bevacizumab, or nothing. I have made my decision. Truthfully, I made this decision months ago about what I would do if the nodules started to regrow, but faced with the actuality, I did want to give it a couple of days to see if I still felt the same way. I do. Here's my decision:

I will not be seeking any further treatment for my cancer.

I do have my reasons and they are plentiful, but it boils down to the following - I want quality of life; not quantity. I've earned it and I deserve it. Instead of holding off the inevitable, I intend to make the most out of what life I have left. Some people will disagree with my decision, but that's not my problem. There's a quote from the 1995 remake of Sabrina, which expresses my sentiments: "More isn't always better...Sometimes it's just more." I don't want to spend the next few months or years feeling sick and suffering horrible side effects for treatments that aren't a cure. If I had a spouse or children, I might feel differently, but I don't have either.

What are the next steps? Believe me, I do have a plan. 

• Hand in my resignation for work (tomorrow)
• Find a new home for my sweet baby girl (anyone want an amazing cat?)
• Apply for disability
• Sort through and get rid of any personal items that are unnecessary (yearbooks, scrapbooks, photos that are only of interest to me, etc.)
• Sell all possessions (apartment furniture, books, tchotchkes, etc.)
• Cash in all retirement accounts
• Prepay for cremation 
• Get out of my apartment lease
• Find a crash pad (probably my brother's house in Philadelphia, but am open for suggestions)
• TRAVEL!!!!

The last one is the biggie. My plan is to spend as much time as I can -- while I still feel well enough -- to travel to places I have always wanted to go and return to some of my favorite places. I would like to spend a couple of months traveling around Europe. Just a short list of places that I plan to visit are: Edinburgh, Glasgow, London, Oxford, Stonehenge, Dublin, The Blarney Stone, Amsterdam, Prague, Paris, Vienna, Salzburg, Barcelona, Venice, Florence, Rome, Naples, Malta, Athens, and anywhere else that my heart decides to go (the "red" cities are places I've been to before but want to revisit). My plan is to use my blog as a travelogue for everyone to follow along with my adventures.

Once I've finished my Grand Tour of Europe, I'll return home where I plan on having a couple of ... well, let's call them Irish Wakes in which the deceased is present at the party. I'd like to bid a fond farewell to my friends and family by holding a couple of strategically placed parties. I'd like to also plan a trip to the West Coast (LA area) in order to see my friends who have deserted the East Coast for warmer climes. 

While these plans are merely in the initial phases, I believe that all of these items can be done before my health starts failing and I eventually meet with the grim reaper. Again, I ask for everyone's support with the decision that I have made.