I admit it - today I was completely at my wit's ends and thought "there is no way I can continue to do this career change!" I spent a good portion of my lunch and two free periods in tears, wondering why I decided to change careers. I know the impetus was that I loathed my corporate job and honestly thought that I'd be perfect for a career in teaching. I don't deny my heart is in the right place, but I'm not sure I'm cut out for the realities of inner city teaching.
What brought this crisis on? My students. For 73 days (or 1752 hours, or 105,120 minutes, or 6,307,200 seconds), I've been dealing with certain issues that appear to be getting worse as the days march on. My students have behaviors that I cannot seem to come to grips with: mostly they're lazy, whiny slackers who apparently could care less about their academics. Okay, that's not entirely fair. Out of 80+ students, I have about 15 or 16 students who are generally engaged in the material being taught, interested in their academics, and legitimately want to be in school. To sum up, 17% of my students are amazing! The other 83% are the whiny complainers. Today, I actually had a student in my English 3 Honors class ask if we could watch the movie, The Green Mile in class. Ummmm... NO! WTF? Well, last year another English teacher let them watch the movie. Yeah, as a comparison to a work of literature that they were reading! Yes - this is my "honors" class. I spent the past two days of that class reading the short story, "Rip Van Winkle" because if I assign it for homework, they won't read it. They complain that the stories that we read are boring and perhaps we could read 50 Shades of Gray. Oh, yes, have I mentioned the chutzpah of these kids? They actually tell teachers to their faces that: the classes are boring, the books/texts are boring, they have zero intention on doing any work, etc. One student told me today that she was content with the D+ that she currently has in my class.
This is definitely not what I signed up for when I wanted a career change. I honestly thought that the 17% would be the slackers. Yeah, I am that delusional. I stupidly thought that the students I would be teaching would not be all that different from the way I was in high school. I'm not saying I loved every class in high school. Ugh... chemistry and algebra. But I would never have had the nerve to tell a teacher to their face that the class was boring and I wouldn't be doing any work. No, I did my work because it was what was expected of me. <sigh> I honestly am wondering about the wisdom of my career change. But I've made my bed, now I have to lie in it. I can only hope that these next two years move quickly, and then hopefully I'll be able to find a school in which the 83% are the engaged, academically inclined students that I so would love to teach! In the meantime, I get to try to teach Shakespeare's Othello and Macbeth to my English 4 classes -- if I don't blow my brains out first.
3 comments:
There is no more difficult, or more noble profession than teaching; especially in the neighborhoods that need it most. You will never be able to get through to all of them, but the ones you do reach will be forever grateful.
And more thankless and underpaid and irritating. :-) Can you tell I am having a bad day??
Well, why not throw them a bone and have them all agree on one book that the whole class will need to read and discuss? Mrs. Macho did that with Frank Herbert's Dune, which in the end was one tough ass book. BTW I am still in touch with her.
Post a Comment