Career Change: Proctoring the ELA MCAS

This week was just... erm ... horrendous!  It started with my new car not starting on Monday morning and ending with me leaving school at 5:30 Friday night (2 hours later than usual). Okay, the car had a drained battery (probably from the cold. as it's been fine ever since), but after that crappy start, the week just went downhill.  

Due to waiting around for roadside assistance to come check on my car, I didn't get to school until almost an hour later than I usually do (I'm generally at school by 7:15), putting me way, way, way behind schedule. I arrived to find out that administration scheduled me to proctor the retest of the ELA MCAS (the Massachusetts Comprehensive Assessment System) test on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday and that I would have to be trained on how to administer the test last period of the day Monday.  Therefore, I already had one class that fell behind because they did zero work during that period I was in the meeting.  Of course, because I learned about the proctoring last minute, all the plans that were put in place for Wednesday through Friday were for naught and I had to completely rewrite my plans, which of course, I had TONS of time to do.  (Still looking for that sarcasm font!)  This has put all of my classes way behind schedule.  It would have been nice to have gotten some advanced notice.

But what was the most disheartening part of the week was the actual proctoring of the test. What is the MCAS?  The MCAS is an untimed, standardized test that all Massachusetts public and charter school students have to take and pass in order to graduate from high school.  It consists of English, Math and a Science (Bio, Chem, or Physics) sessions.  This week it was the retest for those students who either failed or did so poorly that they were put on an educational proficiency plan to improve their test scores.  The English test consists of composition writing (Day 1) and reading comprehension (Days 2 and 3). 

I proctored 17 students for three days.  On day 1, the essay prompt was to pick a book that they have read in or out of school and discuss a struggle or obstacle that a character had to overcome. Here are some highlights of conversations during the composition writing:

•  "Miss, can I use the word 'crap'?"  "Ummm, I can't really help you, but I would suggest not." "What's another word I can use?" "There's a dictionary in front of you. Look it up!"
• "Miss, can you read my essay to see if it's any good?"  "No, I cannot!"
• "Miss, can you give me a suggestion of a book I can write about?"  "No!"

The "test" part was apparently beyond their understanding. But the worse part was the reading comprehension on days 2 and 3, which gave me a good indication of the kind of problems that I'm up against with teaching in my particular district. The first reading was a four page article about crop circles.  After approximately an hour and 15 minutes elapsed, most of the students were on either page 1 or 2 - a passage that I took me 10 minutes to read.  Now I know that I'm a good reader and 30 years older than these students, but over an hour and to still be on page 1 or 2?  Wow! That explains so much.  

My colleagues and I discuss these issues on a daily basis and we know exactly what a big problem is with these students. They do absolutely nothing for themselves and never have.  From the time they started school, teachers have been giving them graphic organizers, guided notes, reading aloud to them (including high school!), etc. These students have never had to do anything for themselves therefore, when it comes time to do these tests, it's ten times harder for them because they have never been forced to do anything and they quite bluntly tell their teachers that they're not going to do anything.

Whenever I try to give them independent work to do, they don't do it because they assume someone will come along and do the work for them. I can't really blame the students because people have been enabling them their whole lives and it's really hard to change that for 15, 16, 17, 18 year olds. But it's a clear indication of why I'm constantly battling students on a daily basis about doing work.  I'm trying to hold them to a higher standard than anyone else EVER has had them do and they just will try to wait it out because eventually someone will do it for them.  But I refuse.  So it's become a battle of wills between myself and my students. Guess who is going to win this battle?  <points to self> After all, I am a mix of Italian/German/English - you don't get much more stubborn than that combination.

I ended up spending an entire class period talking to my seniors about why I'm asking them to do some independent work.  After all, they're graduating in 3 months and many are planning on going to college.  And most of them have yet to crack open the copy of Jane Eyre which I assigned them. That's a problem!  Of course, all of them plan on being successful millionaires within 5 years of getting out of high school with no plan on how that's going to happen - I've asked. <sigh>

Longest and hardest week yet!  29 teaching days until Spring Break!!  Yay!!

Best Declarations of Love in Literature!

Speaking as someone who's life is in the "perpetually-romantically-challenged" category, in order to appease my romantic predilections, I must live vicariously through other means, particularly friends, movies, and, of course, books.  Recently, one of my dearest friends got engaged while away on a Banff ski week with her then boyfriend/now fiance/future ball and chain. I couldn't be happier for my friend. She's such a fantastic woman who deserves to have a really nice guy in her life. When she returned from her trip, I made her sit and regale me with the gory details of the proposal. It consisted of a mountain hike in the snow, an "untied" shoelace, a ring, and a nervous "Willyoumarryme?" declaration. While I've never been one of those girls who has a grand plan about how someone should propose marriage (ugh! why wouldn't you want to be surprised?), hiking in the snow would probably not be my first choice, but it's a very sweet story.

It started me thinking about all the declarations of love that I've read over the years and there have been hundreds upon hundreds. I wanted to pick out the ones that I think are the best of the best. This is not an easy task, but here's my list of the top declarations in love in literature. You'll notice that a couple are the same as my favorite weepy movies.  These are in order of publication.

1. Much Ado About Nothing (~1598) by William Shakespeare.  Benedict [to Beatrice]: "I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange?"  (A few lines of dialogue later) Beatrice [to Benedict]: "I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest."
2. Pride and Prejudice (1813) by Jane Austen. Darcy [to Elizabeth]: "In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." Of course, after that quote, Darcy then completely screwed up the proposal by telling Elizabeth that she was inferior to him.  Fortunately, it all worked out in the end.  Darcy: "You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever." 
3. Persuasion (1818) by Jane Austen. Frederick [to Anne]: "You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you."
4. Jane Eyre (1847) by Charlotte Bronte. Rochester [to Jane]: "I have for the first time found what I can truly love--I have found you. You are my sympathy--my better self--my good angel.  I am bound to you with a strong attachment. I think you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my centre and spring of life, wraps my existence about you, and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one."
5. Doctor Zhivago (1957) by Boris Pasternak. Yuri Zhivago [to Lara]: "You and I, it’s as though we have been taught to kiss in heaven and sent down to earth together, to see if we know what we were taught."
6. Love in the Time of Cholera (1985/1988) by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Florentino [to Fermina]: "I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century, to repeat to you once again my vow of eternal fidelity and everlasting love."

All such beautiful words. Did I miss your all-time favorite declaration of love from literature?  Let me know!

A Message From the Great Beyond?

What's your opinion on spiritualism?  I've never been much into it except as a laugh. I occasionally read my horoscope, but never put any stock in it. When I was in my mid-20s, I went through an occult fascination which included candle rituals, Ouija boards, crystals, etc., which amounted to a lot of wasted money, time and energy. In the early 2000s, I would watch Crossing Over with John Edward because I was fascinated with figuring out how he did what he did. I assumed that there had to be some sort of trick about it. Just last summer, a friend dragged me down to Salem where we individually had our tarot cards read by a "psychic".  What a crock and a waste of $60! But we did have fun. Yes, I have a healthy dose of skepticism about spiritualism. I'm not saying it doesn't exist, I'm just not a strong believer.

You may be asking why I'm bringing this up. Well, I had a strange experience this morning that has been weighing on my mind all day. April 9th will mark the third anniversary of the death of a friend and former colleague, Dan. Dan was one of those amazingly special people who treated everyone like they were a close friend. He was always there for a laugh or a shoulder to cry.  He rarely (if ever) had a bad word for anybody and he was a completely genuine and honest person. What's even more amazing is that he was one of the best sales reps at my former company. One doesn't usually equate a genuine, kind, honest person with successful sales. (Yes, most sales reps are con artists and liars.) Dan was indeed a special, much loved and missed person. Those of us for whom Dan considered a friend were fortunate indeed.

Early this morning, I had the strangest dream about Dan. I don't remember the particulars of this dream because as I mentioned in my January dreams post, dreamers forget 90% of their dreams. What I do remember is Dan told me the following: "Sandi, I really hate being dead. It sucks."  I swear - those are direct quotes.  I'm guessing that the afterlife is not harps, clouds, and pearly gates. Now did Dan actually come to me in a dream?  <shrugs> I don't know for sure. Although it felt very real, but dreams are like that. Could it have been my own subconscious sending me a message? Most likely.  I just know that Dan or my subconscious has a message for us all:

Being dead sucks, Film at 11.  

Yeah, okay, I guess it's not such a riveting message and I'm not certain why I received this message, but in honor of my dear friend Dan, I thought I'd pass it along.  RIP, sunshine. You are missed!

"Upstate" - Good for Some, But Not for All!

If you want to talk classic novels, I'm all over that!  Modern pop fiction? Bring it on.  Young adult? Erm, welllll, I'm not as strong with that category - unless it's Harry Potter. That's a pretty bad statement for a high school English teacher. Due to this deficiency, my colleagues constantly either give me recommendations or the actual books to read. My English content coach suggested I read Kalisha Buckhanon's freshman novel, Upstate - not to teach to my classes, but just as a reference for books and themes which might appeal to them.  

Synopsis: "Upstate is a powerful story told through letters between seventeen-year-old Antonio and his sixteen-year-old girlfriend, Natasha, set in the 1990's in New York. Antonio and Natasha's world is turned upside down, and their young love is put to the test, when Antonio finds himself in jail, accused of a shocking crime. Antonio fights to stay alive on the inside, while on the outside, Natasha faces choices that will change her life. Over the course of a decade, they share a desperate correspondence. Often, they have only each other to turn to as life takes them down separate paths and leaves them wondering if they will ever find their way back together." (Amazon.com)

Review:  The novel opens with the following sentence:

"Baby, the first thing I need to know from you is do you believe I killed my father?"  

An extremely engaging opening and yet, I could not finish the novel. Generally speaking, I don't like to give reviews of novels that I haven't finished, but I'm going to make an exception this time and you'll see why.  Let me start by saying that this novel is well-written and, for the right reader, it's a powerful and compelling book.  Unfortunately, I am not one of those people. This book is written with a specific target audience in mind, which is perfectly fine. Written in ghetto-speak, Upstate appeals to the inner city teenager who understands poverty, drugs, the criminal justice system, welfare, teenage love, sexual awakening, etc. For a middle-aged, middle-class, white woman, I found it very difficult to connect to this world and these two characters.  Because I wanted to try to finish this book, I pushed myself through half of the story before giving up.  Although, I did spot read a few of the later letters. Overall, if you know of some inner city teens, this novel is a great recommendation. They would devour the book. A word of warning: it's very sexually explicit which doesn't offend me but it's a little too graphic for my tastes.  Not a book I would recommend for readers under 16.

Rating: 4 out 5 stars for a YA, 2 out of 5 for me.

More Must See Brit TV!

Yes, I have a mild obsession with British television - mostly because it is superior to the rubbish that comes out of Hollywood. Here's an additional list of programmes that you must watch if you are a fan of British television/humour. If you're not a fan, then move along - nothing to see here. Most of these suggestions I forgot to list in my previous two posts; a couple shows are ones that I couldn't fit into the comedies or dramas categories.  

1. A Bit of Fry & Laurie (1987-1995): It is inexcusable that I neglected to mention this show in my Brit comedies post.  I should be flogged for it. This sketch comedy show stars the comedic geniuses of Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie. In the great tradition of so many comedy duos before them (Burns and Allen, Abbot and Costello, Tom and Jerry, etc.), Fry and Laurie's programme consists of several small sketches over the course of the episode. Each and every sketch is a riot. Hugh: "Then I was Princess Anne's assistant for a while, but I chucked that in because it was obvious they were never going to make me Princess Anne, no matter how well I did the job. It was a question of who you were, rather than how well you did, you know, and I hate that." (See the video below for one of my favorite moments.)
2. Top Gear (2002-Present):  If you can't tell from the title, Top Gear is a car show, but it's not just a show for gearheads. Yes, it probably helps to have some interest in automobiles, but it's not a necessity.  The show's presenters are Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May and they are just stunningly funny.  Jeremy Clarkson: "If this were America, it would be full of people doing... whatever it is they do. Incest, mostly, I think."
3. Shaun the Sheep (2007-Present): Yes, it is "technically" a children's show, but I think it's laugh out loud funny. As with many children's programmes, this show has humour that is clearly for the adults who are watching. From the creator of Wallace and Gromit and Chicken Run (Nick Park), this stop-motion, claymation series tells the woolly misadventures of Shaun (a sheep) down on the farm with all of his barnyard friends. Shaun made his first appearance in Wallace and Gromit's, A Close Shave, before branching off into his very own series. Well done, Shaun! There is no spoken dialogue, even from the human characters. The stories are told with simple grunts, bleats, and sighs which speak volumes.
4. Coupling (2000-2004): At the suggestion of a couple of friends, I spent most of Sunday, Monday and Tuesday watching all four seasons of this bitingly funny show and it was time well spent. Okay, truth be told - it was a complete waste of time but I don't regret the wasted time, because it was such an uproariously fantastic way to fritter away the time!  Coupling is one of the funniest sitcoms that I have seen in ages - other than The Big Bang Theory. This show "centres on the dating and sexual adventures and mishaps of six friends in their thirties, often depicting the three women and the three men each talking among themselves about the same events, but in entirely different terms". (Wikipedia) DO NOT WATCH THIS SHOW ON NETFLIX. Watch it on Hulu.  For some reason, Netflix cuts 6 minutes off each show; something I did not discover until partway through the second season. <grrrr> Jeff: "When God made the arse, he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye angels, I have created the arse. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these, and shout my name!'"
5. Wallander (2008-Present):  Again, how I could forget to list this show is beyond me. Starring the brilliant actor/director (and my imaginary boyfriend) Kenneth Branagh and filmed on location in Sweden, this crime drama follows the life of a brooding and bitter chief inspector of Ystad, Sweden, Kurt Wallander who investigates some of the most heinous crimes imaginable. The show is based on books written by Swedish novelist, Henning Mankill.  Kurt Wallander: [to child prostitute pimp] "A while back this young fellow was sitting in the chair you're in now. He had read the lists of those who had died in the tsunami in Asia. He got hold of the address of one of the families affected. Know what he did? He broke into the house and stole anything of any value. But before he left, guess what he did? He turned all the taps on full blast all over the house. When I saw him sitting across from me, I thought... 'this is the most despicable and pathetic person I have ever met.' Only now I know better."

This posting might be the last on my British television watching habits... but then again, maybe not.  Give these programmes a shot.  They are amazing.

I just had to include this video of Hugh Laurie singing one of my favourite songs from A Bit of Fry & Laurie.  I dare you not to laugh! I've seen this video dozens of times and still laugh my head off. If you want to see an updated version, check out this video from when Hugh appeared on Inside the Actors Studio in 2006.

News Flash: Women Talk More Than Men!

NNNNNNOOOOOOO! I'm sure everyone is shocked by the above statement. This morning, I was watching one of those annoying morning news programs which featured the following report: "Women talk more than men ... according to studies, the average woman speaks approximately 20,000 words in a day, which is about 13,000 more than the average man." The apparent reason behind this difference is a "language" protein called FOXP2, which women possess at higher levels than men. (See the full news article at Science World Report.) That report prompted me to do some research.  I located a study from 2007 which reported that men speak just as much as women.  Erm, well which is it?  Do women talk more than men or not? 

Personally, I'm not certain women talk more than men, I just think we have more intelligent things to say and therefore it seems like we talk more. Oh, snap. Anyway: Ladies, next time the man in your life complains about how much you talk, tell him that we are genetically predisposed to talking and they'll just have to get over it.

All joking aside, I think that it depends on the situation on which gender talks more and perhaps it's not as straightforward as these reports seem to indicate. Then again, is anything ever straightforward? But it is interesting.

Have You Ever Been Bullied?

If you have, then this video will speak to you!  If you haven't, then consider yourself lucky - or perhaps you were the bully. I'm starting a unit on bullying with two of my class next week and intend to show them this video. In a mere 7½ minutes, Shane Koyczan sums up the pain of being on the receiving end of bullying. It's incredibly moving:

I can't add any more to what Shane Koyczan's video relays. If you have children in your life, remember to talk to them about the effects of bullying! Speaking as someone who experienced it firsthand, bullying can have a lifelong impact on the receiver!