"Empty Mansions" Is Filled With a Fascinating Story...

What would you do if you were the heir or heiress of a small fortune? Most of us can only imagine what it might be like to inherit a fifth of $250 million and yet that's exactly what Huguette Clark inherited in 1925 after her father, W.A. Clark (a copper baron) died (worth $3.4 billion in today's money). Little had been known about Ms. Clark until journalist, Bill Dedman, stumbled upon the story. Empty Mansions: The Mysterious Life of Huguette Clark and the Spending of a Great American Fortune by Bill Dedman and Paul Clark Newell, Jr. explores a fascinating tale of a poor, little rich girl.

Synopsis: "When Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist Bill Dedman noticed in 2009 a grand home for sale, unoccupied for nearly sixty years, he stumbled through a surprising portal into American history. Empty Mansions is a rich mystery of wealth and loss, connecting the Gilded Age opulence of the nineteenth century with a twenty-first-century battle over a $300 million inheritance. At its heart is a reclusive heiress named Huguette Clark, a woman so secretive that, at the time of her death at age 104, no new photograph of her had been seen in decades. Though she owned palatial homes in California, New York, and Connecticut, why had she lived for twenty years in a simple hospital room, despite being in excellent health? Why were her valuables being sold off? Was she in control of her fortune, or controlled by those managing her money?

Dedman has collaborated with Huguette Clark’s cousin, Paul Clark Newell, Jr., one of the few relatives to have frequent conversations with her. Dedman and Newell tell a fairy tale in reverse: the bright, talented daughter, born into a family of extreme wealth and privilege, who secrets herself away from the outside world...

...Empty Mansions reveals a complex portrait of the mysterious Huguette and her intimate circle. We meet her extravagant father, her publicity-shy mother, her star-crossed sister, her French boyfriend, her nurse who received more than $30 million in gifts, and the relatives fighting to inherit Huguette’s copper fortune. Richly illustrated with more than seventy photographs, Empty Mansions is an enthralling story of an eccentric of the highest order, a last jewel of the Gilded Age who lived life on her own terms." (Amazon.com)

Review: At 359 pages (not counting notes), Empty Mansions reads like a psychological detective story that will interest fans of early 20th century American and European art, high society, and politics. Other themes include the destructive role of inheritances in wealthy family members' lives, and the difficulty of determining what constitutes mental illness and elder abuse.

At Huguette's death at the age of 104, her relatives were embroiled in a legal battle with her lawyer, accountant, private nurse and long-term care hospital, all of whom, in my opinion, violated professional ethics codes by taking enormous sums of money from the increasingly frail woman during the last two decades of her life. These "caregivers" repeatedly say that they never asked Huguette for the money, claiming it was offered. But when you walk into a room of a 90+ year old kindhearted woman and talk about how you cannot afford something, you are manipulating her into giving you money. Disgusting! Huguette's family isn't much better, having nearly forgotten about their aunt when she became reclusive. But you expect family to be money grubbers, not physicians, nurses, and attorneys who should have better ethics.

It makes me so sad that no one was there to be her advocate, and becomes a cautionary tale for financial and estate planning. Exceptionally well-researched, this mesmerizing biography will weave a web around your mind like the best mystery stories, but it's all frightening real.

That being said, the first half of the book gets bogged down in minute descriptions of every ounce of furnishings of the once-great Clark mansions, and the blow-by-blow descriptions of how W. A. Clark amassed his fortune. Much of this detail could have been edited by half and still be effective. The story really picks up steam after about 200 pages when it gets into the meat of how Huguette is exploited by her larcenous caregivers. At first I was unsure if I could finish the book, but I read the last half in one sitting (literally - with my eyes bugging out and gasping at the greed that these vultures exhibited).

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Huguette's debutante photo
circa 1926

Longest Reigning Monarchs...

Do you love or hate your job? Can you imagine having to do your job 24/7/365? How about 24/7/365 for 6 or 7 or 8 decades?? Yes, decades!  The other day, I was listening to my favorite podcast, Rex Factor, which I have written about in the past and still find completely enchanting. Co-host Graham Duke happened to mention that King Louis XIV of France reigned for 72 years, to which co-host Ali Hood queried whether that was the longest reign in history. Graham wasn't positive but noted that it was at least one of the longest.  As I have a particular fascination with monarchs, I decided to investigate this subject and came upon a list of interesting monarchs who had incredibly long reigns and most of whom I had never heard about before the research.

Here are the top 10 longest verifiable reigning monarchs:

1. Sobhuza II (Swaziland): Sobhuza II was the Paramount Chief and later King of Swaziland for 82 years, 254 days from 1899 to 1982. When he was four months old, his father, Ngwane V, died suddenly at the age of 23 while dancing incwala. Sobhuza was chosen King soon after that and his grandmother Labotsibeni Mdluli served as regent until his majority in 1921. He directly reigned Swaziland for 60 years, during which he presided over Swaziland's independence from United Kingdom in 1968, after which the British government recognized him as King of Swaziland. Sobhuza continued the tribal tradition of having many concurrent wives. During his lifetime, he married 70 women who gave him 210 children. "About 180 children survived infancy, and 97 sons and daughters are reported living. At his death he had more than 1000 grandchildren" (Wikipedia). This is the second time that Swaziland has appeared on one of my lists - having appeared as an honorable mention in my weird flags post. Well done, Swaziland.

2. Bernhard VI (Lippe): The second longest reigning monarch ruled the Principality of Lippe, which was part of the Holy Roman Empire, for 81 years, 234 days. Bernhard inherited Lippe just before his first birthday in 1429 and ruled until his death in 1511. During his reign, he was involved in so many bloody feuds that he became known as "Bernhard the Bellicose". He married Anna, the daughter of Count Otto II of Holstein-Schauenburg, and had 7 children. Lippe was a historical state in Germany and was located between the Weser River and the southeast part of the Teutoburg forest.

3. William IV (Henneberg-Schleusingen): The third monarch on the list was a member of the House of Henneberg and ruled of the County of Henneberg, within the Holy Roman Empire for 78 years, 243 days. Henneberg was a state in Germany. The son of William III of Henneberg, William IV inherited the County of Henneberg at ~5 years of age in 1480, when his father died, and reigned until his own death in 1559. He married Anastasia of Brandenburg in 1500 and had 13 children. In 1543–1544, William embraced the Protestant Reformation.

4. Heinrich XI (Reuss-Greiz): In 1723, at the age of one, Heinrich XI succeeded his brother Henry IX as Count of Reuss-Obergreiz. Heinrich ruled for 77 years, 103 days until his death in 1800. In 1743, he married Countess Conradine Reuss of Köstritz and had eleven children. A few months after Conradine's death in 1770, he married Countess Alexandrine of Leiningen-Dagsburg-Heidesheim. They had no children. Reuss-Greiz was yet another state in Germany and part of the Holy Roman Empire.

5. Christian Augustus (Palatinate-Sulzbach): The fourth straight monarch on the list who ruled part of Germany and under the Holy Roman Empire, Christian Augustus reigned for 75 years, 253 days. At the age of 10, he succeeded his father in 1632. Christian Augustus was a tolerant ruler. He granted his citizens the right to choose their Christian denomination and introduced the Simultaneum, whereby churches offered both Protestant and Catholic services. In 1666, he permitted Jews to settle in the Duchy of Sulzbach. Under his rule, Sulzbach also became an intellectual center and the site of a regionally significant printing industry. Christian Augustus married Amalie of Nassau-Siegen and they had 5 children. Christian Augustus died at the age of 85 in Sulzbach in 1708 and was buried in the Church of St Maria in Sulzbach.

6. Mudhoji IV Rao Naik Nambalkar (Phaltan): Starting at the age of 3, the Hindu ruler of Phaltan State in India, Mudhoji IV Rao governed his state under British rule from 7 December 1841 until 17 October 1916 for a total of 74 years, 315 days. He married and had two children. Despite being the longest reigning monarch in India, I could not find any further information about him - not even a Wiki page <gasp!>.

7. Bhagvatsingh Sahib (Gondal State): Bhagvatsingh was the ruling Maharaja of the princely state of Gondal in India from 1869 till his death in 1944, for a total of 74 years, 87 days. He was 4 years old when he succeeded his father. Bhagvatsingh was the only Maharaja to earn a medical degree and was regarded as a progressive and enlightened ruler. He has an impressive list of advancements which include: reforming the state administration, developing its resources, erecting schools, colleges and hospitals, providing free and compulsory education for both men and women through university, building technical schools for engineers and training facilities for labourers, and championing women's rights. By the 20th century, Gondal boasted having the finest medical services and the finest municipal works system in the subcontinent. During his reign, Bhagvatsingh abolished all rates, taxes, customs, and export duties making Gondal the only Indian state to be tax-free. Additionally, he not only removed the purdah system for women, but restricted women's wings were no longer built in subsequent palaces. By 1918, Gondal was the only state to have compulsory education for girls in all villages. Bhagvatsingh married Her Highness Maharani Shri Nand Kunverbaiji Sahiba in 1881 and they had a total of 9 children (six sons and three daughters) - all of whom received exceptional educations. Hands down, this monarch is my favorite on this list based on his revolutionary achievements.

8. Georg Wilhelm (Schaumburg-Lippe): We return to Germany with monarch number 8. Georg Wilhelm was a Count and later Prince of Schaumburg-Lippe. He ruled for 73 years, 282 days after succeeding his father at age 3 from 1787 to 1860. He was married on June 23, 1816 at Arolsen to Princess Ida of Waldeck and Pyrmont; they had nine children.

9. Charles Frederick (Baden): Yet another German monarch with a lengthy reign, Charles Frederick was the first duke of Bade who ruled for 72 years, 228 days from 1738-1811. He succeeded his grandfather at the age of 10 and was regarded as a good example of an enlightened despot. He supported schools, universities, jurisprudence, civil service, economy, culture, and urban development, outlawed torture in 1767, and serfdom in 1783. Charles Frederick's first marriage was to  Caroline Louise of Hesse-Darmstadt and together, they had 5 children. Four years after his first wife's death, he married  Louise Caroline, Baroness Geyer of Geyersberg and they had 5 children. 

10. John Louis (Nassau-Saarbrücken): John Louis was the Count of Nassau-Saarbrücken and succeeded his father posthumously. Born three months after his father's death, John Louis reigned for 72 years, 100 days. Nassau-Saarbrücken was an imperial state in the Upper Lorraine region (present day France). His marriage to his first wife, Elisabeth, resulted in the birth of 6 children. Six years after Elisabeth's death, John remarried to Catherine of Moers and they had 8 children.

Interestingly, the monarch which instigated this post (Louis XIV) comes in at 11th on the list. 30th on the list is the longest current reigning monarch - Bhumibol Adulyadej, King of Thailand whose reign started at the age of 19 in 1946. He has been ruling Thailand for 67 years and counting.

Additionally, there is a list of monarchs with lengthy, but unverifiable, reigns. First, there is Pharaoh Pepi II Neferkare in Ancient Egypt who possibly reigned for 94 years. Second, King Teajo from Goguryeo (Korea) arguably reigned for 93 years. Third, Ermanaric the Ostrogoth from Oium might have reigned for 80 years. There are another 161 names on this list.

I cannot possibly imagine doing the same job for 80+ years, but then again, I suppose ruling a country is probably not your typical job. Of course, none of these monarchs actually ruled from day 1 as they were children when handed the reins to their respective kingdoms, but still, it's a pretty impressive feat.

Music Doesn't Lie - Part 31 (Hard Out Here and Somewhere Only We Know)

"Music doesn't lie. If there is something to be changed in this world,
then it can only happen through music." – Jimi Hendrix

Lily Allen is back! You may or may not remember, but way back in May 2012, with my third post in this series, I wrote about Lily Allen and her fabulous song, F*ck You (Very Much). I am a big fan of Ms. Allen and her music. Sadly, it had been 5 years since Ms. Allen released a new album, having taken time off from performing to marry and give birth to two children. Somehow I missed the news that Lily was back in the studio recording and it wasn't until I saw her appearance on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon a couple of days ago that I found out that she had released a new album, Sheezus. Yes, Lilly confirmed that it is "a little nod to Kanye West", who had released an album Yeezus in 2013.

Has marriage and motherhood mellowed this outspoken firebrand? Happily, no! She is as brash and in your face as she always was. I loved Lily's first two album (Alright, Still and It's Not Me, It's You), so I was hoping that this new one would be up to the previous releases. All I can say is "Whew". While my favorite album of hers is, and probably will always be, It's Not Me, It's You, Sheezus is certainly a worthwhile purchase. As typical for Lily, the songs all sound so light and bubbly until you pay attention to the lyrics which vary from criticism of modern culture to light songs about love to teenage angst. Another home run for Lily.

I had a hard time picking just one song to feature because there are so many great songs on the album, therefore I decided to feature two songs. In addition to the two songs I'm featuring, "Air Balloon", lyrically, is as light as helium and "Miserable Without Your Love" is another song for my catharsis playlist. "Close Your Eyes" has lyrics, which are full of Allen's trademark humor. Has anyone in pop music history ever urged their lover to ride them "like a bike"? "Life for Me" is a sincere, upbeat afro-pop sounding song. All are amazing songs!

The first song that I am featuring is the one Lily sang on The Tonight Show. "Hard Out Here" is a tongue-in-cheek response to the double standards faced by women in society, and, more specifically, the music/entertainment industry. The video is pretty out there and quite explicit. For anyone who finds the video uncomfortable, hypocritical or contradictory to the lyrics, that's part of the irony and sarcasm that is Lily Allen. Lily demonstrates how bad it has become for women in the industry, as well as the unrealistic and grotesque extremes of body image set for young girls. Additionally, she shows how ridiculous the gender roles have become and it's only going to get worse, as long as society continues to differentiate people based on their genitalia, and pigeonhole them into stereotypes and manufactured identities.

The second featured song is a bonus song on the album. Last year, Lily released a cover version of the English band, Keane's song, "Somewhere Only We Know" (lyrics), which was recorded for the John Lewis 2013 Christmas advert (below). This song has been a favorite of mine for a decade when it was originally released in 2004. It's rare that I find a cover version to be as good as the original, but this song is in that category. 

Leaving a Legacy...

Everyone wants to be remembered and to feel that they have contributed something to the world. For some, this desire can be a driving force, leading to great accomplishments and extraordinary contributions to mankind. Others have more modest goals as to how they will leave their imprint on the world. For many people, having offspring is their source of a lasting legacy. Some leave behind a long list of artistic accomplishments - visual, performing, etc. Still others will leave the world the works of good deeds, medical advances, or technological accomplishments. 

Due to my medical woes, I was contemplating what legacy I will leave behind when I move onto the next great adventure. Let's see: I don't have children, no lasting artistic accomplishments (save one poorly sold album), no medical or technological accomplishments, etc. Therefore, I started racking my brain for what my legacy will be. I came to the realization that this blog is the sum total of my legacy. After my demise, I fully intend for this blog to remain in the cloud for all to read, but then I started thinking "Is this blog a good representation for my lasting legacy?" I reviewed many of my posts and I came to the following conclusion: this blog is exactly me and the perfect testimony for my life. 

Why do I say this? There are several reasons. My thoughts, beliefs, and interests have been well documented here. My postings run the gamut from different types of music to some sound advice. There are interesting and entertaining topics. It's occasionally funny and incredibly smart. Sounds exactly like me and my life. Therefore, I will go out with my head held high that at the very least I can leave my mark (small and inconsequential as it is) on the world.

Have you considered what your legacy will be? 

To add to my legacy, I'm posting a video of a song from the aforementioned poorly sold album, Queen Bee. This video is the second that I've created and posted (see this previous post) from the album. The song is "Chanson" from the Stephen Schwartz musical, The Baker's Wife (lyrics)!

Teeny Tiny Countries!

It's well established that many US states are larger than some independent countries. But did you know that there are some really teeny tiny countries? Below is a list of the world's ten smallest independent countries (from smallest to largest). They each contain less than 125 square miles in land area. If we combined the land area of these 10 countries, we would have a country approximately one quarter the size of the state Rhode Island!

Vatican City (0.2 square miles): At one-eighth the size of New York's Central Park, Vatican City is the world's smallest state and has a population of 842. Only 450 residents actually have Vatican citizenship, while the rest have permission to reside there, either temporarily or permanently, without the benefit of citizenship. About half of the Vatican’s citizens do not live inside Vatican City at all. Because of their occupations (mostly as diplomatic personnel), they live in different countries around the world. In 1929, Benito Mussolini signed the Lateran Pacts, which allowed the Vatican to exist as its own sovereign state and compensated the church $92 million for the Papal States. Also known as the Holy See, Vatican City is plunked down right the in heart of Rome, Italy. The Pope is an elected non-hereditary monarch and has complete judicial, executive and legislative control over the Vatican State - which means, at present, he is the only absolute monarch in Europe.  Interesting fact: The Vatican museums are over 9 miles long, and it is said that if you spent only 1 minute admiring each painting it would take you 4 years to complete the circuit!

Monaco (0.7 square miles): The tiny state of Monaco lies along the French Riviera on the French Mediterranean coast near Nice. An impressive 32,000 people live in this state known for its Monte Carlo casinos and Princess Grace; although only 6,000 inhabitants actually have a Monégasque passport (roughly 19 percent of the whole population). The remaining 81 percent of the population are French, Italian, and 125 other nationalities living in Monaco. It has been independent off-and-on since the 13th century.  Known as Europe’s tax haven, each and every individual citizen of Monaco has enjoyed a tax-free lifestyle since the 1870s. For decades, Monaco lived solely off of its casinos. At present, Monaco’s current efforts to diversify its economy has made tourism its number one source of income and casino profits has shrunk to a mere five percent. Fun fact: Citizens of Monaco are not allowed to gamble, nor even visit the casinos.

Nauru (8.5 square miles): Formerly known as Pleasant Island, Nauru is an island country in Micronesia in the South Pacific. With 9,378 residents, Nauru is the smallest nation in the South Pacific and 2nd smallest nation by population on the planet, behind Vatican City. Nauru is a phosphate rock island with rich deposits near the surface, which allow for easy strip mining operations. As of 2011, these phosphate resources are no longer economically viable for extraction, due to over mining. Nauru boasted the highest per-capita income enjoyed by any sovereign state in the world during the late 1960s and early 1970s. When the phosphate reserves were exhausted, and the environment had been seriously harmed by mining, the trust that had been established to manage the island's wealth diminished in value. To earn income, Nauru briefly became a tax haven and illegal money laundering center. Fun fact: It is widely believed that the country’s phosphate deposits actually originated from the droppings of sea birds.

Tuvalu (9 square miles): Tuvalu comprises three reef islands and six true atolls spread over a 360 mile chain in Polynesia. The name Tuvalu comes from the Tulavuan phrase meaning “eight standing together”, representing the eight inhabited islands. Formerly known as Ellice Islands, Tuvalu is home to 10,837 residents. Additionally, Tuvalu has the distinction of being one of the smallest economies in the world. This is because the coral atolls on which its people are populated have extremely poor soils. Therefore, the country has no known mineral exports and it is largely unable to produce agricultural exports, making it dependent on imported goods.  Interesting fact: Due to the country's remoteness, tourism is not significant. Visitors totalled 1,684 in 2010, 65% were on business, development officials, or technical consultants, 20% were tourists (360 people), and 11% were expatriates returning to visit family.

San Marino (24 square miles): Located on Mt. Titano in north central Italy, San Marino has approximately 32,000 residents. The country claims to be the oldest state in Europe. According to tradition, it was founded by a Christian stonemason named Marinus in A.D. 301. The country's economy mainly relies on finance, industry, services and tourism. It is one of the wealthiest countries in the world in terms of GDP (per capita), with a figure comparable to the most developed European regions. San Marino is considered to have a highly stable economy, with one of the lowest unemployment rates in Europe, no national debt and a budget surplus. Wonder if they need any English teachers?! Interesting fact: San Marino doesn't really have a military. The military they do have (one of the smallest in the world) is largely ceremonial, and basically stands guard in pretty uniforms in front of government buildings, or at the opening of whatever the Sammarinese equivalent of a Walmart is.

Liechtenstein (62 square miles): This microstate of 35,000 is located on the Rhine River between Switzerland and Austria in the Alps. Along with Uzbekistan, Liechtenstein is one of only two doubly landlocked countries in the world. Liechtenstein is the smallest yet the richest (by measure of GDP per capita) German-speaking country and the only country to lie entirely within the Alps. Not only is it the smallest German-speaking country on the planet, but it is the only German-speaking nation that doesn’t share a border with Germany. Weird facts: Liechtenstein is the largest producer of sausage casings, potassium storage units and false teeth in the world. Liechtenstein is the last survivor of the 343 states that once made up the Holy Roman Empire of German Nations. The national anthem is sung to the same tune as 'God Save the Queen'.

Marshall Islands (70 square miles): An island country located in the northern Pacific Ocean, the Marshall Islands is part of the larger island group of Micronesia, with the population of 68,480 people spread out over 24 low-lying coral atolls, comprising 1,156 individual islands and islets. The history of the Marshall Islands can be traced as far back as the 2nd millennium BC, when its occupants were known as sea travelers. The average height of the islands is only 7 feet above sea level and the only indigenous land mammal in the Marshall Islands is the Polynesian rat. In October 2011, the government of the Marshall Islands declared that an area covering nearly 772,000 sq miles of ocean shall be reserved as a shark sanctuary. This is the world's largest shark sanctuary, extending the worldwide ocean area in which sharks are protected from 1,042,000 to 1,776,000 sq miles. In protected waters all shark fishing is banned and all by-catch must be released. However, the ability of the Marshall Islands to enforce this zone has been questioned. Weird fact: Elugelab, a Marshallese island, no longer exists – it was blown up by the US Armed Forces in 1952 during a hydrogen bomb test.

Saint Kitts and Nevis (104 square miles): This Caribbean country of 51,134 is located in the Leeward Islands and is a federal two-island country in the West Indies. It is the smallest sovereign state in the Americas, in both area and population. Saint Kitts and Nevis were among the first islands in the Caribbean to be settled by Europeans. Saint Kitts was home to the first English and French colonies in the Caribbean, and thus has also been titled "The Mother Colony of the West Indies". Nevis is the smaller island of the two. Fun fact: The water on St. Kitts and Nevis is so good that in the 1970s, Baron de Rothschild's chemists selected St. Kitts as their only site in the Caribbean to distill and produce CSR (Cane Sugar Rothschild), a pure sugar-cane liqueur. In the 1700s, Lord Nelson regularly brought his fleet to Nevis just to collect water, and Nevis still boasts of having Nelson spring water

Seychelles (107 square miles): The 84,000 residents of this 155-island group located in the Indian Ocean have been independent of the United Kingdom since 1976. Almost half of the limited landmass in the country is occupied by national parks and reserves, which is in support of the government’s various environment and ecosystems protection and conservation policies. Seychelles is the right place to visit if you want to see unique regional species, which include the paradise flycatcher, the warbler, the jelly fish tree, and the female Coco de Mer, which is the world’s heaviest nut. The country is home to the heaviest land tortoise that is living in the wild. Named Esmeralda, the animal weighs 670 pounds and can be found on the Bird Island. Cool fact: Pirates used to seek the islands of Seychelles as a hideout. It is believed that Olivier Le Vasseur, an infamous pirate, had a treasure worth 100,000 euros (today's value $160,000,000) that to this day remains hidden somewhere on the Seychelles. Anyone want to join me on a treasure hunt?

Of these 10 very cool and unique tiny countries, I have visited exactly one - Vatican City, but I would sincerely love to see all of the others. Which one interests you the most?

I Surrender!

People always say "giving up is never an option." I reply, "why?" I'm sorry but not only is giving up an option - sometimes, it's the best option and other times, it's the only option. I can hear all the Pollyannas out there yelling at me, but hear me out.

At some point, one must accept that life is not what they planned... or at least, life has not been what I planned. I never really had very high aspirations. I only ever wanted four things: a successful career that I supported me and that I loved; a loving partner with whom share my life; supportive, caring parents and siblings; and a handful of excellent friends. Pretty simple. Yet, I have gotten...ummmmm... almost none of these. So at some point, you have to say, "okay, life is not what I wanted. I give up on getting the things that I want and will live with the limitations that I have."

"Oh, Sandi, that's not true." Sure, it is. 

Let's break it down: (i) a supportive, caring family? Nope, narcissistic parents who gave birth to 5 children - 3 of which are complete narcissists (not me or my eldest brother). (ii) Career, Part I - Performer: Well, I spent 20 years attempting to make a living as a performer and while I worked a lot, I only made a measly $10,000. That boils down to $500 a year, which is great if you're living in a third world country. Horrendous for NYC! Career, Part II - Events Manager: Got shit on and stabbed in the back by my boss, plus I hated being a corporate grunt. Fail. Career, Part III - Teaching: more than half of my students are failing and think that it's okay to call their English teacher a bitch, among other things. So while I love what I do, it's certainly far from a success. (iii) A partner to share my life. Never happened and is never going to happen. Fifteen years ago, I gave up on finding someone to share my life and then four years ago I met a fantastic person who told me we were 'kindred spirits' and I considered them my soul mate. It all turned out to be nothing but lies and disappointments. I'm refuse to go through that again with anyone else. So no life partner for me. (iv) Good friends. Here's the only thing in my life that is a small success. While I have had my fair share of friends who have shat all over me, I do have a few who will stand by me no matter what. But that's in the minority of my friends. So I'll give that a half a point. Adding to all of this crapola are two bouts of cancer (one of which I'm still dealing with), decades of major depression issues, and a few others things that I won't bring up. 

Once you add it all up, my batting average is pretty bad. Therefore, I can absolutely say "I quit" when it comes to certain aspects of my life. I will never have the family that I want, the relationship I desire, and the career that I deserve. I will live with the fact that my life is an utter failure. Stop telling me otherwise.

The amazing thing about this mindset is that once you accept the limitations in your life all the sadness, depression, anger, disappointment, etc. goes away. While I agree that people should dream their dreams but I also believe at some point, you have to accept that some dreams will never come true and just move past them.

You're Never Too Old...

I hate when people limit themselves based on inconsequential things, like age. Every so often, a story comes along reminding us that anything is possible at any age. The old adage that 'you are never too old' is true.  This morning I was watching the news when they reported on 94-year old Genevieve Johnson, who returned to Westford Academy, a public high school in Westford, MA to complete her high school education that was stalled nearly 70 years ago.

In 1936, during the height of the Depression, Genevieve had to drop out of school in order to get a job to help her family.  She had 2.5 credits left in order to graduate. Her deepest wish was to complete her high school education. In order to complete her education, Ms. Johnson needs to take 12 credits (requirements for graduation has changed since 1936) and she is loving every moment of her return to academia. Sadly, Ms. Johnson won't actually get her high school diploma because she has not taken the MCAS (Massachusetts standardized tests that all high school students must pass before graduating), but she will receive a Certificate of Attendance and will walk at graduation. It's a little ridiculous that the state won't let her get a diploma because of a standardized test that 70 years ago she would not have had to take. Bureaucrats! [Update 5/8: the news announced this morning that the powers that be at Mass DOE changed their mind and said that Genevieve can receive her high school diploma, despite not taking the MCAS. I can't believe they even had to think about that!]

Then there's the story of Catherine Lancelotta who returned to high school at the age of 101 in order to complete her high school education. Another victim of the Depression!  Jeanette Goldstein decided that she wanted to get a J.D. so she attended Syracuse University School of Law at the age of 81. Alice Thomas graduated from law school at 79 and landed a job to practice law working on elder law issues! In 2011, Octogenarian Betty Simmons graduated from Lubbock Christian University with a bachelor of science degree. Western Connecticut State University had an 83 year old graduate, Florence Pilkington, who majored in studio art. William Murphy took 46 years to complete his A.B. degree from Harvard University, but at the age of 78, he finally completed his coursework. 95 year old, Nola Ochs graduated from Fort Hayes State University in 2007.

Putting academics aside, how about George Salyer who set two skydiving records? He was 91 on his first dive and three years later, his family set a record for a multigenerational jump when he was joined by a 71-year-old son, a 40-year-old grandson, and a 15-year-old great-grandson. He was also the word oldest male pilot. Mary Hardison celebrated her 101st birthday by going paragliding (tandem) for the first time.  At 101, Fauja Singh finally retired from competitive marathon running. His first marathon was in 2000 in London at age 89. 

This list is just a small sampling of older people refusing to roll over and play dead just because they have aged a bit. It's important to remember: Age is just a state of mind.