The Upside of Cancer/Cancer Treatment

In order to offset the looks of pity or sorrow when someone learns about my cancer diagnosis and treatment, I decided to come up with a list of positives to regale people with which helps them feel a little more comfortable. I find that making light of certain aspects of my disease makes the pity go away quicker. For anyone offended by this post, suck it! It's my cancer and I'll do what I want.  :-)

• Saving time and money on hair care: Seriously, I am totally all about embracing being bald. The time saved on not having to wash, condition, comb, and style a head of hair is worth the loss of said hair. Quite frankly, if it were socially acceptable, I'd remain bald for the rest of my life... however long that might be. I don't understand people who hate being bald.
• No need to shave armpits and legs: Another time and money saver is not having the annoying task of shaving of armpits and legs. While they are not the worse tasks the world, it's still a joy not having to worry about these chores. I shaved them both a couple of weeks ago and now I won't have to shave again for months!
• Strategic use of the cancer card: First off, let me say that I do not use the cancer card willy-nilly. In fact, I don't think I've used it at all except on myself when I wanted to avoid doing housework. But come the fall when I am back teaching, I fully plan on pulling out the cancer card every time one of my students comes in with a lame excuse as to why they didn't do their homework. "Seriously, you couldn't read a chapter in a book when I come to work, teach, grade papers, take a masters class, and do my homework - all while battling cancer?!" Let's see them argue against that statement!
• Getting occasional free stuff: I do not ask for any special treatment... EVER... but if my local Starbucks barista wants to treat me to the occasional free drink or snack, who am I to say "no". When I go there for my daily treat, I fully expect to pay. They refuse to take my money! Whether it's because of my cancer or because I'm one of their favorite customers (their words, not mine) or a combination of both, I'm not sure, but I'll take it.
• Not having to worry about retirement funds: A friend and I were chatting the other day and she said that I was lucky because one of the best perks of working in a public school is the great retirement plans. I gave her a look and she said that perhaps I wasn't exactly worried about that. I laughed. She's correct. Most people worry about whether they will have enough money to retire. Honestly, it's not my biggest concern.
• Not worrying about aging: One of the few positives in my life is that I have never looked my age, nor does anyone in my immediate family. We all look easily 10 years (or more) younger than we really are. It's nothing that we do - it's just good genes. But with my specific diagnosis, I probably will not have to deal with the aging process. No gray hair, no wrinkles, no age spots, no loss of hearing or teeth, no osteoporosis, no turkey neck, etc. Score!

I am sure that I'm missing a few other positive aspects to my current medical woes, but this list is a good start.  Also, it's important to remember the advice given by Monty Python - Legendary!!! Feel free to sing along - I did.