Attempting Fitness in my 40s....

...SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I began Week 4 of the Couch to 5K program and I'm going to have to repeat this one.  In fact, I may have to go back a step.  Today's workout was: 5 min warm up walk, 3 min jog, 30 sec walk, 5 min jog, 2.5 min walk, 3 min jog, 30 sec walk, 5 min cool down. 

I was actually doing fine until I hit the 5 minute jog.  I was listening to my 80s playlist and what could be more inspiring than listening to "My Sharona" and "Love Shack."  Then 4 minutes into the 5 minute jog and I had to stop jogging.  I couldn't do it, although I did continue to walk and didn't quit altogether.  Was it because it was 90 degrees out?  Was it something I ate?  Didn't eat?  That I forgot to bring water and it's 90 degrees out?  Lack of sleep?  The fact that I never really completed Week 3's workouts cleanly?  Was it the heat?  Did I mention that it's flipping 90 degrees out?!?!  Or is just that I'm the 2 "Fs":  Fat and Forty-(something)!  Jogging with an extra 30 pounds is not fun and add to that a torn meniscus and 45 year old joints.

Here's a recommendation for the 20/30-somethings: Start now!  I was an thin, active child but became an overweight, lazy teen/adult.  Once I hit my early teens, I hated exercise.  In my 20s and 30s, I was more interested in drinking with friends and hanging out rather than exercising.  I don't think a weekly trip to a nightclub during the mid-80s really constitutes as exercise ... But I did learn how to "strike a pose" with the best of them.  Now that it's a couple of decades later and I'm older and supposedly wiser, I will state unequivocally that I still hate exercising and really am only doing it because I have to do it, not because I want to do it.  Doctors, friends and family have been urging me for years to bite the bullet, lose weight and start exercising.  At the end of March 2010, after what I have termed "PigFest 2010" (a roadtrip with my friend, Erin, to southwest Virginia where I ate my way through the weekend), I bit the bullet and decided to do something about it.  With the assistance of another dear friend, Charlie*, who convinced me that if he could do it, I certainly could... except that Charlie is in his 30s and it's much easier for men to lose weight and get in shape than women (Add that to a long list of why men have an unfair advantage over women!)... But with his input and help, I did manage to lose 70 pounds, of which I've put back on 11 by not staying the course.  I still have another 30 pounds to go and it's getting harder and harder to stay focused on the goal.  It's tiring and boring!

Kids, listen to what this elder has to say:  Don't wait until you're older to get into a regular exercise regimen.  I wish that I had pushed myself when I was young to get into a workout regime because even if I never learned to love exercise, I at least would be used to it by now.  I really have to push myself every day to stick to my workout schedule.  Would I rather be sitting on the couch, reading a book and eating Kettle Chips?  You bet!  That's what my formative years were all about.  But I'm paying the piper now and it's painful and expensive. 

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*Name has been changed to protect the innocent. 

Majoring in English Literature... What was I thinking?

I've been job hunting for the past couple of months and not so shockingly, it's hard for a mid-career person to find a job that isn't entry level, pays a decent salary and is interesting work - although right now I'd settle just for anything that will pay my bills.  Most companies are looking for kids right out of college in which they can pay them a meager salary and have them work like grunts.  Unless of course you have degrees in business, accounting or technology - especially technology.  There are scores of technology positions available.  So why did I major in English Literature?  Funny story...

A hundred years ago...okay, not that long ago... in 1984, I started my college career, majoring in Music and Theatre and after 4 semesters (2 years) and an Associates degree under my belt, I dropped out of college because I was going to take Broadway by storm.  Erm... yeah... wanna guess how that turned out??  Jump forward 20 years to 2006 and feeling like I needed to finish what I started, I returned to college.  I made the conscious decision that if I were going to plunk down quite a few thousand dollars to finish my degree that I wanted to study something I loved so I chose English Literature and in May 2010, I graduated with my degree in English Literature - summa cum laude (with a GPA of 3.89) from City College of New York.  Shall we now guess how far this degree has gotten or will get me?  Yeah, that would be nowhere.  Oh, wait.  No, it's gotten me somewhere... In debt!  So that's something, right??  Plus I've got some paper to line a bird cage with, if I ever decided to get a flying shitbag.

As I mentioned, there are tons of jobs out there for someone with a technology background/degree.  Why didn't I major in some field of technology you might ask??  Because I find technology to be the most boring field of study (okay, really business and accounting are the most boring, with technology a very close third ... it might even be a three-way tie).  Had I majored in some technology field, IF I would have graduated at all, it certainly would not have been summa cum laude because I would have slept through all of my classes.  Now don't get me wrong.  I love using technology.  I can't imagine living without my laptop, iPod Touch, GPS, Kindle, Blackberry and any other device you can think of.  But to spend all day writing code or talking techno talk with co-workers is about the most boring way of spending my day.  The past 2 companies I worked for were technology companies and I never quite got the gist of what either company did.  I could give the basics but ask me for anything beyond a bare bones explanation and I was at a loss.  I tried to learn the technology and would sit with the former CTO of my former company for hours, just trying to understand, but alas it was mostly for naught.  After 3 years of studing and asking questions of those who knew the technology and I still had a bitch of a time explaining how the technology worked. 

I admire my friends who work in the technology field... same as I admire people who are in the waitstaff industry.  Someone has to do these jobs and I'm not one of them.  So huzzah to you, my technology friends.  Well done!!

In addition to being an English Literature major, I want to specialize in 19th Century British novels (if I ever get around to going to graduate school), where the most advanced "technology" is the horse drawn carriage.  So what is a technology-challenged, 19th Century loving girl to do?  Notwithstanding the fact that I own a Kindle, I still prefer to read books and I actually like men to hold open doors for me.  Although, I would never want to live without indoor plumbing and don't want to be considered property and unable to vote.  I'm truly confused.  I think Elizabeth Wurtzel, author of Prozac Nation, said it best: "I feel like a defective model, like I came off the assembly line flat-out fucked and my parents should have taken me back for repairs before the warranty ran out."  I'm guessing that at my age, the warranty has run out. 

One day I hope to figure it all out.  In the meantime, I just go along as best I can, knowing that I'm a bit of a square peg who will never fit into a round hole and I will have to wait to get it right in a future incarnation.

5K Run or Bust!

For the past few years, I have participated in the Susan G. Komen Race/Walk for a Cure in Central Park, NYC and this year will be no different.  Well, there is a slight difference this year as I have been challenged by my friend, Sheryl to actually RUN this event and not walk like we usually do.  Seriously??  Running??  Unless someone is chasing me with a knife, I've never understood the appeal of running.  Last fall, I attempted to become a runner on the advice of another friend and I tried... HONEST!  I tried!  And had it not been for a week long trip to the hospital and the awful winter we had, I might have stuck with it, but instead I spent the winter laying on the couch watching the snow fall instead of exercising. 

Soooooo, I now have almost 12 weeks to train for this race.  Okay, to be honest, I actually started training 2 weeks ago, but I didn't want to mention it until I fully committed to this endeavor.  Now it looks like I'm on a mission to at least attempt to run on Sunday, September 18 for 5 kilometers... that's 3.1 miles for those of us who never really grabbed onto the metric system.  I'm training for this run with a very smart application on my iTouch called "Couch to 5K."  What it does is gradual increase your running time in increments.  For instance, the first week, I started with 5 minute warm up walk, then I ran for 60 seconds, walked for 90 seconds, ran for 60 seconds, walked for 90 seconds, etc.  Then each week the running increases while the walking decreases and (according to the application) I should be running a 5k in 9 weeks time by training a mere 3 days a week.  Hmmmm.  Sounds easy enough. 

Of course, my first time out (when I reached the end of the 20 minute work out), I thought I might throw up and pass out and found myself cursing Sheryl with the vehemence of a drunken sailor, but today I started week 3 and it is getting easier, surprisingly - although the urge to vomit is still there.  While I still don't love running (and probably never will), I am determined that I will succeed in September by actually running this important event.  I suspect that grandmothers with walkers will probably beat my time.  I will post occasional updates and keep you apprised of my progress.  I hope everyone will support me in the Fall and help make this run a complete success.  Sheryl, I love you but your killing me with this challenge.  :-)

The Susan G. Komen Foundation is a wonderful charity.  They were there for me when I went through my breast cancer treatment and I like paying it forward and making sure that this foundation continues their good works for future breast cancer patients.  Let's hope a cure is found soon!

US Postal Service Rantings!

I swore that I would try to keep my blog posts positive but something seriously needs to be done about the US Postal Service in NY.  Here's the story:

In early May, I put in a change of address effective June 1 from NYC to Newburyport.  Easy enough.  I gave them 3 weeks notice.  After about 3-4 days, I noticed that I wasn't getting any mail.  I called my local post office and spoke with Maria, my mail carrier in NYC who indicated that yes, my mail was being held already in preparation for my change of address.  <sigh>  She said that she would fix it in the computer and left a note the next day on my mail stating that she changed it so that effective June 1 my mail would be forwarded.  Sounds perfect, right??  

Jump ahead to today.  I realized that I have been in Massachusetts now 3 weeks and noticed that I have not received one piece of forwarded mail.  Now I know I'm good at giving my change of address out but still it seems unlikely that I would have remembered to let everyone know about my change of address.  So I called my old carrier today.  She remembered everything that occurred in early May -- except she thought that I was still living in the apartment!  WTF?!?!  So she has been delivering my mail for the past 3 weeks... TO MY OLD APARTMENT!!!!   ARGH!!!  Once again I am so glad not to be living in NYC where incompetency runs amok and people get rewarded for stupidity.  And while I know that incompetency and stupidity are a world-wide phenomenon, it seems that NYC has a higher rate of these traits than anywhere else.  Or maybe it's just that I hate NYC so much.  Either way, I'm glad I'm gone.   

<Okay, Sandi...breathe in, breathe out...deep cleansing breaths>  I feel better now. 

I Hear Church Bells Ringing...

Honestly!  It's not an aural hallucination.  The weather has been so gorgeous that I keep all my windows open to let the beautifully clean fresh Massachusetts air circulate through my apartment.  While sitting on my couch watching reruns of NCIS, reading a novel or surfing the web in search of jobs (sometimes all three at the same time), I will occasionally hear the ringing of church bells from a nearby steeple and find myself smiling at the musicality of the moment.  

 

Now as most of those who know me, I am an avowed atheist and have absolutely no use for or respect of organized religion, so the ringing of the church bells does not instill in me a sense of worship or lure me to the church like a siren singing her song.  Hearing these chimes though does bring to mind visions of horse drawn carriages, elegant ladies dressed in long gowns and elbow length gloves, dapper gentlemen in top hats and tails and country dances.  

Okay, okay, I know.  I'm a hopeless romantic who has spent way too much time reading Jane Austen.  And although I have given up any hope of finding a Fitzwilliam Darcy to share witticisms with my Elizabeth Bennet persona, I enjoy having these images in my brain on a daily basis.  Living in a town as old as Newburyport (settled in 1635 and officially became a city in 1851), it is easy to imagine oneself living at a simpler time.  Don't get me wrong - I love modern conveniences.  I cannot envision living without indoor plumbing, electricity and my iPod Touch, but some days I like to visualize those times of old.  I'm convinced that in one of my former lives, I lived in the time of Jane Austen, although I was probably a scullery maid and not the refined daughter of an English gentleman, but I can dream can't I?

For those of you who haven't understood any of the Austen references, run (don't walk) to your nearest bookstore or library and pick up a copy of Pride and Prejudice.  If you're not a reader, then I recommend the Colin Firth/Jennifer Ehle version of P&P -- do NOT watch the Keira Knightley version...even the wonderful Matthew MacFadyen cannot save that bastardized version. 

You Can Take the Girl Out of New York...

...But taking New York out of the girl is going to take some time.

I (along with my friend, Christy and Christy's mom) journeyed to the local community theatre (The Firehouse Center for the Performing Arts) this past Friday night to see Forbidden Newburyport, Newburyport's own version of Forbidden Broadway.  It was a really cute show and about half the cast were surprisingly good performers bbbbbuuuuuut...  that being said...  As a 35+ year stage veteran, I couldn't stop myself from being overly critical of the other half of the cast.  It's a terrible habit that I got into while living in New York and one that I'm going to have to try to break myself from doing.  I spent half the time laughing at the material and the other half picking apart their subpar performances.  Clearly, these performers were on stage for the sheer joy of performing and not to advance their career (which is a refreshing change from NYC non-Broadway theatre).  Although I think many of the performers were very good donors to the theatre.  Oops, there I go again.  

For the most part, I had a really enjoyable night and found the show to be an entertaining way to learn about my new town, which apparently has dog poo issues (really, dog owners pick up your dog's deposits)!  There were two moments that really stuck with me: the first was a ballad about the reeking local landfill (sung to the tune "Maria" from West Side Story) (hilarious!) and the four octogenarians performing a tap dance routine which really inspired me to want to return to dance class.  And perhaps very soon, visitors to and residents of the Port may see my return to the stage - after a mere 6 year hiatus. 

Fingers crossed.

Why do I live in NYC?

Seriously, can someone answer this question? Nearly fourteen years ago, I had the brilliant idea of moving to Manhattan. Fourteen years later, I'm wondering why I still live here. It's loud, dirty, wildly expensive and people can be incredibly rude. This morning on the subway I was repeatedly smacked in the knee by a man's backpack and never once got an apology! An entire subway car reeked of the three homeless men who were using it as their home and bathroom. Why do I continue to live here??


When I originally moved to the City, it was to pursue my dream of being a stage performer. Where better than NYC to fulfill those dreams. Well, that dream has crashed a burned. I'm now working jobs that I don't really like and don't really find all that inspiring, but I need them to pay my rent and all the other ridiculous amounts of money that I owe to various places. Perhaps by moving to another place, I might actually save money. Now there's a concept.


There are things that I love about New York - the theatre, not owning a car, good friends, Yankee baseball, not owning a car, Yankee baseball. Okay, I'm starting to forget all the great things about living in New York. I know when I start feeling like this I need a vacation, but I just came back from vacation and still feel the same way that I did before. I truly wonder if this City has finally worn me down. Everyone has their breaking point. Perhaps I've reached mine. I'm paying more for a 1-bedroom apartment than some people pay for a 4-bedroom house. I live in a 5th floor walk up which is aging me every second that I have to climb those effing stairs! So if someone can please give me a reason to stay in this City, I would gladly take any advice you have!