A Guide to Theatre/Theater Etiquette

I love going to the theatre and the theater.  What's the difference?  Theatre means live performances: operas, plays, musicals, ballet, etc.  Theater is film. But over the years, the exhilarating experience of sitting down in a darkened theatre or theater has soured due to other audience members attending these performances. People who are unaware (apparently) that there is basic etiquette that everyone should adhere to and, when that behavior is ignored, makes the experience less than stellar for the people who are sitting near them.

Last night, I went to see Verdi's beautifully tragic opera, La Traviata (as part of the Met in HD series) at the Shalin Liu Performance Center in Rockport, MA and was reminded of why I have started limiting my time at the theatre.  I happened to be sitting in front of some Troglodyte who decided about halfway through the performance to ask his companion rather loudly every ten minutes:  "Is it over?" "Can we go now?" "She's dead, does this mean we can leave?" [she actually hadn't died yet], etc.  All annoyingly distracting!  I finally had to turn around to tell him to shut up - although I did say it a little nicer than that.  A bit.  I remember years ago attending a Broadway production which printed up a list of theatre etiquette and handed it out to the audience. <insert applause here>  Perhaps it's time to update that list and hand to every person entering a theatre or even a theater. 

Here is a list of theatre/theater etiquette that everyone should adhere to:

1. Dress appropriately.  Yes, the days are long gone when people wear tuxedos, suits, gowns, etc. to a theatrical performance, but does that mean you need to wear shorts, t-shirts and sneakers?  Perhaps something in between might be the way to go.  Dress as you would when first meeting the parents of your future in-laws.  Oh, and deodorant is a must.  And go easy on the cologne or perfume as some people are allergic.


2. Don't arrive late. Come on, people!  Find out the time of your performance well in advance and plan your arrival time accordingly.  Better to arrive early and kill some time in the lobby rather than arriving late. 


3. Turn off all electronic devices.  And keep them off!  Tweeting, texting, and emailing during a performance is distracting and annoying to everyone. And no, you cannot take photographs. Just stop!


4. Keep your opinions to yourself.  If you find yourself bored or horrified by the actions on the stage or screen, keep it to yourself.  The rest of the audience does not need to know your opinion of the performance, especially if they themselves are enjoying the action on the stage/screen. Try to remember that you are not in your living room.  If attending a musical or opera, please do not sing along.  (This rule can be ignored ONLY if you are at an interactive performance in which the actors are encouraging your participation.)


5. If you must leave, leave quietly.  If you find yourself bored or horrified by the actions on the stage or screen or you have an emergency and you feel the urge to leave, then please leave with as little distraction as possible to avoid annoying the rest of the audience. 


6. No snogging, please!  I know that you are 'in love' but the moment the lights go down is not a signal for you to start making out with your significant other.  Even with the low lights, people can see you and not only is it distracting, but disgusting.  Get a hotel room or stay home if you're feeling amorous. 


7. No snacking.  I recognize that movie theaters live and die by the concessions, so the snacking rule changes depending on the performance - live vs. film. We all get peckish occasionally, but opening noisy candy packages and sucking on those sour balls are another distraction during a live performance.  Finish up your snack during intermissions. When watching a film, please limit the noise by opening up any candy packages ahead of time.


8. Bring cough drops and tissues, if ill.  We all get colds and coughs from time to time when we have theatre tickets, so please remember to bring cough drops and tissues with you.  If your coughing gets out of control, then leave the theatre/theater until the worse of the coughing passes.  Try to avoid 'trumpeting' when using your tissues or wait until times of applause in which to blow your nose.


9. If you fall asleep, don't snore.  Have a pact with your companions that if you happen to fall asleep and your snoring begins rippling through the auditorium, that they should wake you.


10. No misbehaving children allowed.  I love the idea of encouraging children to enjoy live theatre from a young age, with these caveats about bringing children to adult theatre: prepare them beforehand by telling them about theater manners. Explain that they should be quiet, sit still, and not disturb others around them. If it is a serious play, tell them to listen carefully and not laugh at the sad parts or other inappropriate times [something that some adults need to learn too].  They need to keep any negative comments to themselves, until they get in the car or home and have them use the restroom before the performance begins. If your child disturbs the audience, take them to the lobby and watch it on the television screen. (Children's theatre is a completely different animal which encourages interaction during the play. Definitely take your children to see children's theatre.)  [I once had to sit through a very expensive Broadway show in which a 5 year old whined and kicked the back of my seat the entire 2+ hours and no amount of dirty looks from me helped. I came close to bitch slapping the parent.]

I really don't think I'm asking for much.  There's a subtle difference between an audience reacting to and participating in a show - cheers, hisses, gasps, all that, which is great - and forgetting they are not at home in front of the TV. (Though frankly people who talk through TV watching make me pretty stabby too. We're all watching the same thing! We KNOW what the character just said!)  Everyone should be able to control their actions for the 2 to 3 hours that you will spend in the theatre/theater.  Following these simple rules makes a night out enjoyable for all!