Maybe it's time to go into countdown mode - 4 days left. Day 26: "Write about an area in your life that you’d like to improve". (Just one?)
Okay, this subject goes under the "no brainer" category. The area of my life which needs improvement is: learning to let go.In every capacity of my life, I have never learned to let things go. It doesn't really matter what it is. Student grades, auditions from 10 years ago, past relationships, and a whole host of other subjects all have a tendency to sit in some corner of my brain and play havoc with my psyche.
Now by writing "learning to let go", I don't mean that I'm constantly hounding other people about these issues. I don't. Generally, they just take up way too much room in my head where I continue to obsess about them. I constantly revisit how I could have changed or improved the outcomes -- "if I had just said/done ______, then I could have fixed/changed/gotten ______". Sometimes the weirdest subjects pop into my head and then I just contemplate over and over how things ended up and how they could have been different/better. I'm not just talking about the bad issues either. I revisit and reflect on every aspect of my life.
I'll give you an example: Yesterday morning, I had a committee meeting at school that went incredibly well. We got everything done on our list and were incredibly productive, but I spent most of yesterday afternoon going over the meeting in my head and wondering how it could have been improved, more efficient, and whether we made the right choices. See? That's just not very good use of my time, but I cannot help it.
Let's not even talk about the amount of time spent thinking about the things that have gone wrong in my life. Believe me, it's an inestimable amount of wasted time. I'm not certain how I can fix this aspect of my life. I've always been obsessive about things and let them wreak chaos in my mind. How do you just turn something like that off? I'm getting kind of tired of people telling to "just let that go". Don't you think I would if I could. I don't ask my mind to do this. <sigh> Maybe a lobotomy would help or ECT treatment? Yyyyyyeah, maybe not.
I know when you saw my subject-matter, you thought about the song from Frozen: "Let It Go". What? You didn't? You hate that song? Well, too bad. Don't listen to it then:
Tomorrow - day 27: "where I'm kicking ass". (This one is tougher.)
6 comments:
Don't let go, you might fall off the world.
Yeah, but what an adventure that would be!
I know it is hard for some people to let go. No one can expect you to let it all go at once. Just a little at a time. Clean out that heavy, old, worn out, dusty, trunk (yes, the one with all those stickers on it), keep what you really need and tuck it into a lighter, smaller, tote bag. Your nature is to bear a load, (you Aquarians can't help yourselves) just downsize so you aren't so weighed down by it all. Being an Aquarian himself, I am not surprised that Tom is telling you to hang on. Tsk, Tom.
Ah the joys of being an Aquarian!
An area in my life to improve.
Ah yes, so many to choose from. What I really need to do though is exercise. Yes, I tend to be lazy in this respect. Usually, I am so mentally exhausted by the time I get home from work, I just do not have the energy to work out. Yes, elliptical, I see you staring at me, sad that you are being ignored. I could list the hundreds of excuses that I have fabricated to justify sloth but I need to just suck it up and make some type of exercise part of my daily routine. As soon as my back spasms subside in a couple of weeks.
I like the drama and giving up is never an option. Fight to the death. We'll never surrender. We'll take them by land and by the sea. We'll drive the Hun back to their homeland...sorry, I must have been channeling Sir Winston Churchill.
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