A Desire to Run Away From Home!

Today, I had the strongest urge to just pack my bags and run away from home forever – go to the airport and catch the next flight out; no matter where it's going: Bora Bora, Vancouver, Florence, Detroit... okay, maybe not Detroit. Is taking off in a moment's notice ever a realistic option? I remember once when I was 5 or 6, I decided to run away from home because life was soooooooo hard. <eye roll> I packed my teddy and blanket in a little suitcase and away I went. Okay, I merely walked around the block and then went home...probably because I was hungry and didn't bring any food. But still, I ran away – not that anyone at home even noticed!

Why do I often feel the urge to run away? Does everyone feel that way? Today, I decided I was tired ... tired of dealing with stuff I don't want to deal with anymore; tired of people being a-holes to each other; tired of paying bills; tired of being mired up to my eyeballs in crapola, etc. Maybe it's a reaction to yesterday's shocking and distressing bombing in Boston or my unbelievable exhaustion or the depressing filing of taxes. Or perhaps it was all of the above.

Apparently as hard as life is at the age of 5 or 6 is, it's nothing compared to being 40-something. The following statement will not come as a surprise to any adult who's been in the real word:  Being a grownup sucks sometimes!  I keep telling my students who are so eager to be adults to not rush it because it's hard and a lot of times it's not fun. But they don't listen.  I don't suppose I did either when I was in high school.

What kept me from running away today? A few things: first and foremost, my cat, Lotta. It's impossible to run away with a yowling cat and there's no way I would leave her behind. Two, I'm an adult and I have responsibilities. <grrr> Three: loneliness. I'm tired of doing things alone. Even going out for a long walk is too lonely these days. I put the blame for that squarely on one person's shoulders. Jerk! Lastly, money. I might have run away even for a couple of days if I had had extra funds roaming around, but alas 'twas not to be. 

Therefore, I decided to treat myself to something - I went to my local Starbucks and bought my usual chai tea latte and a truly fattening and delicious snack (a warmed apple fritter). Yum! At the reasonable cost of $6, I felt a wee bit better - not entirely, but it was a start. Then I went home and watched the BBC's 1995 mini-series of Pride and Prejudice (starring Jennifer Ehle and imaginary boyfriend, Colin Firth) because I needed to witness some graciousness, beauty, and love even if it is a fictional account on television.

My baby girl - so cute, but not a good travel companion

As for yesterday's senseless attack on Boston, my thoughts are with the victims and their families as well as all who were witnesses to the bombing. My deepest respect to those people who ran toward the explosions in order to help. Let's hope that man's propensity for violence will one day come to a halt. Until then, keep hope alive and read or watch Pride and Prejudice.