Last night, while waiting for the Yankees-Mets game to start, I watched the pre-game activities, which included a beautifully rendered version of our national anthem, sung by Glee star and Broadway performer Matthew Morrison. I'm always impressed whenever performers nail our national anthem, because let's face it, it's not an easy song to sing. Of course, there are the notoriously bad versions of the Star Spangled Banner (i.e., Roseanne Barr, Christina Aguilera, and others). Due to the difficulty of our national anthem, I'm all for the proposal of changing our national anthem. Why? Well, other than the Star Speckled Banana being difficult to sing, the lyrics are all about bombs and war and bloodshed -- and not in a good way. I'd recommend "America, the Beautiful".
Every country has their own national anthem and, for the most part, none of us know any of their songs. I know the British national anthem - "God Save the King/Queen", but that's about it. During the Olympics, we often hear other nations' anthems, but we only hear the instrumental version. Of course, even if we heard the lyrics, as only a handful of songs are in English, we still would have no idea what they say because the songs are sung in the native language of the country.
So, I wondered - are there national anthem that are worse than our? I suspected there might be.
The lyrics, written in 1956 by Moufdi Zakaria, are about two "hos" shy of being a Lil' Wayne single. At the time of the writing, Zakaria was being held captive in Algiers by French colonial forces. Realizing that it was, in fact, France that was holding him and his country down, he spent his downtime penning a tune about the ass whooping his fellow countrymen would surely be dishing out sometime in the near future.
Disturbing Lyrics:
"We swear by the lightning that destroys, By the streams of generous blood being shed."
"When we spoke, none listened to us, So we have taken the noise of gunpowder as our rhythm, And the sound of machine guns as our melody."
Like most good national anthems, this one was written in the shadow of a looming war for independence, this time with Austria. Listening to the first few verses, you would think Mameli thought independence was a lost cause. But then, the final verse rolls around and Mameli goes from defeated poet to a Nostradamus-like teller of fortunes.
On an unrelated note, can you imagine what state our collective national anthems would be in if written by the 20-year olds of today? Booty booty booty booty bursting everywhere!
Disturbing Lyrics:
"Mercenary swords, they're feeble reeds. The Austrian eagle has already lost its plumes. The blood of Italy and the Polish blood it drank, along with the Cossack. But it burned its heart."
That's right, this anthem is written as a direct address to God. Most national anthems implore the citizens of their grand country to take up arms and fight against oppression, transgression, whatever. "Himnusz" is having no part of that. Really, it's a bit unclear what the problem was at all. But whatever was up their ass, it apparently required divine intervention. It's basically the national anthem equivalent of what an unemployed, alcoholic friend might call and moan to you at 2:30 in the morning.
Disturbing Lyrics:
"No freedom's flowers return, from the spilt blood of the dead, and the tears of slavery burn, which the eyes of orphans shed."
The lyrics focus mainly on how unbelievably awesome it would be to die for your country. We would prefer to, you know, defend our country while at the same time remaining alive. Silly us!
Disturbing Lyrics:
"I'm like the roaring flood; powerful and independent, I'll tear apart mountains, exceed the heavens and still gush out!"
"Render your chest as armor and your body as trench!"
"For only then, shall my fatigued tombstone, if there is one, prostrate a thousand times in ecstasy, and tears of fiery blood shall flow out of my every wound, and my lifeless body shall gush out from the earth like an eternal spirit."
Depending on where you're reading it, the translation of the lyrics varies. But hey, you say a tainted blood irrigates your furrow, we say their impure blood should water our fields. To-mae-to, to-mah-to. Whichever you prefer, somebody's getting fucked up.
Disturbing Lyrics:
"The bloody flag is raised, the bloody flag is raised."
"Do you hear in the countryside, the roar of these savage soldiers, they come right into our arms, to cut the throats of your sons!"
"May a tainted blood irrigate our furrows!"
The lyrics start with the line "armies of Vietnam, forward!" And guess what? They mean it! There's blood on the flag! Guns are rumbling! Bases are being built! There are chains to be broken!
Vietnam's national anthem kicks more ass in two short verses than most countries do in a lifetime.
Disturbing Lyrics:
"Our flag, red with the blood of victory, bears the spirit of the country."
"The distant rumbling of the guns mingles with our marching song."
"The path to glory is built by the bodies of our foes."
"For too long have we swallowed our hatred. Be ready for all sacrifices."
Every country has their own national anthem and, for the most part, none of us know any of their songs. I know the British national anthem - "God Save the King/Queen", but that's about it. During the Olympics, we often hear other nations' anthems, but we only hear the instrumental version. Of course, even if we heard the lyrics, as only a handful of songs are in English, we still would have no idea what they say because the songs are sung in the native language of the country.
So, I wondered - are there national anthem that are worse than our? I suspected there might be.
Algeria: "Qassaman"/"We Pledge"
Though it pre-dates both heavy metal and rap by several decades, the Algerian national anthem's lyrics expertly incorporate the prominent cornerstones of both genres' most violent moments. Destructive lightning? Check. Gratuitous bloodshed? Check. Machine guns? Check. Being held down by the man? Word up, son.The lyrics, written in 1956 by Moufdi Zakaria, are about two "hos" shy of being a Lil' Wayne single. At the time of the writing, Zakaria was being held captive in Algiers by French colonial forces. Realizing that it was, in fact, France that was holding him and his country down, he spent his downtime penning a tune about the ass whooping his fellow countrymen would surely be dishing out sometime in the near future.
Disturbing Lyrics:
"We swear by the lightning that destroys, By the streams of generous blood being shed."
"When we spoke, none listened to us, So we have taken the noise of gunpowder as our rhythm, And the sound of machine guns as our melody."
Italy: "Il Canto degli Italiani"/"The Song of the Italians"
Throughout the majority of the Italian national anthem, things sound pretty bleak. Heck, the main line in the chorus is "we are ready to die!" But Goffredo Mameli, the 20 year old poet who wrote the lyrics, clearly understood that one can only be down for so long.Like most good national anthems, this one was written in the shadow of a looming war for independence, this time with Austria. Listening to the first few verses, you would think Mameli thought independence was a lost cause. But then, the final verse rolls around and Mameli goes from defeated poet to a Nostradamus-like teller of fortunes.
On an unrelated note, can you imagine what state our collective national anthems would be in if written by the 20-year olds of today? Booty booty booty booty bursting everywhere!
Disturbing Lyrics:
"Mercenary swords, they're feeble reeds. The Austrian eagle has already lost its plumes. The blood of Italy and the Polish blood it drank, along with the Cossack. But it burned its heart."
Hungary: "Himnusz"/"Hymn"
Unlike most of the other anthems on this list, Hungary's really has no cause to be as violent as it is. There was no war for independence on the horizon. No foreign invader was occupying their homeland. Basically, a whole bunch of nothing was going on. It would appear that overall, Hungary is just such a shitty place to live that some dude decided to ask God to help him out.That's right, this anthem is written as a direct address to God. Most national anthems implore the citizens of their grand country to take up arms and fight against oppression, transgression, whatever. "Himnusz" is having no part of that. Really, it's a bit unclear what the problem was at all. But whatever was up their ass, it apparently required divine intervention. It's basically the national anthem equivalent of what an unemployed, alcoholic friend might call and moan to you at 2:30 in the morning.
Disturbing Lyrics:
"No freedom's flowers return, from the spilt blood of the dead, and the tears of slavery burn, which the eyes of orphans shed."
Turkey: "İstiklal Marşı"/"Independence March"
Another anthem, another fight for independence. Noting that Turkish fighters were having a fair amount of success defending themselves against European invaders, it was decided that a motivational song to spur them onto victory and celebrate their inevitable success was in order. Basically, Independence March was the Super Bowl Shuffle of its day.The lyrics focus mainly on how unbelievably awesome it would be to die for your country. We would prefer to, you know, defend our country while at the same time remaining alive. Silly us!
Disturbing Lyrics:
"I'm like the roaring flood; powerful and independent, I'll tear apart mountains, exceed the heavens and still gush out!"
"Render your chest as armor and your body as trench!"
"For only then, shall my fatigued tombstone, if there is one, prostrate a thousand times in ecstasy, and tears of fiery blood shall flow out of my every wound, and my lifeless body shall gush out from the earth like an eternal spirit."
France: "Le Marseillaise"/"The Song of Marseille"
"La Marseillaise" was written in April of 1792 by Claude-Joseph Rouget de Lisle in the midst of the French Revolution. It was originally called "Chant de guerre de l'armee du Rhin" ("War Song of the Army of the Rhine") but the name was later changed due to the song's popularity with volunteers on the streets of Marseilles. And, presumably, because "Chant de guerre de l'armee du Rhin" is a pretty goddamned long name for a song.Depending on where you're reading it, the translation of the lyrics varies. But hey, you say a tainted blood irrigates your furrow, we say their impure blood should water our fields. To-mae-to, to-mah-to. Whichever you prefer, somebody's getting fucked up.
Disturbing Lyrics:
"The bloody flag is raised, the bloody flag is raised."
"Do you hear in the countryside, the roar of these savage soldiers, they come right into our arms, to cut the throats of your sons!"
"May a tainted blood irrigate our furrows!"
Vietnam: "Tien Quan Ca"/"Army March"
Anyone who didn't see trouble coming when we went to war with Vietnam had clearly never taken a gander at their national anthem. If they had, they would have seen that this is a country that does not take war lightly. Most of the other anthems on this list mix in a little bit of talk about peace, national pride or whatever else. The blood and guts talk just finds its way into a verse or two at random. Vietnam's anthem, on the other hand, is all war, all the time.The lyrics start with the line "armies of Vietnam, forward!" And guess what? They mean it! There's blood on the flag! Guns are rumbling! Bases are being built! There are chains to be broken!
Vietnam's national anthem kicks more ass in two short verses than most countries do in a lifetime.
Disturbing Lyrics:
"Our flag, red with the blood of victory, bears the spirit of the country."
"The distant rumbling of the guns mingles with our marching song."
"The path to glory is built by the bodies of our foes."
"For too long have we swallowed our hatred. Be ready for all sacrifices."
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After checking out some other national anthems, I suppose I can't complain too much about our national anthem. What do you think about our national anthem?