Why Can't Everyone Just Be Responsible People?

Before I continue posting about my Great American Road Trip, I need to vent my ire about something. Since I won't waste my time venting to the person who has angered me (mostly because it would serve no purpose), I will get my frustrations out through my writing.

Let me start by asking a question: is there someone in your family who is consistently late to every major event (and even the minor events)? Do you have to tell these people the wrong time in order to try to get them to events on time (their invite to a 5:00 pm event says 4:00 pm)? Do these people regularly blow off important family events for seemingly no reason? If you answered "no" to these questions, then perhaps you will not be able to understand my anger and frustration.

There is a member of my immediate family who this type of person (the youngest brother). He is ALWAYS late to every event (he was an hour late to his own wedding!). Additionally, when he's not late, he's blowing off events at the last minute with no legitimate excuse. He's been like this his entire adult life and I'm sick of it. The straw that broke the camel's back was the fact that he did not show up to my niece's wedding yesterday. I wanted to punch him in the face.

On Thursday, he was asked to be the videographer and agreed. He was supposed to be at the venue by 4:30 on Saturday. Well, that time came and went and he was a no show. My two brothers and I shook our heads and griped on how this other brother was a lost cause. But we assumed that he and his wife and daughter were (as usual) running late and would arrive well after the ceremony started. My eldest brother ended up video taping the wedding. Hours and hours went by, the festivities were going strong and still these people did not show. Around 9:00pm, my sister-in-law (the mother of the bride) could finally relax a bit and happened to check her cell phone to discover ... are you ready for it? ... a text message from my youngest brother's wife saying that they would not be able to attend the wedding, sent at 4:37pm. I'm sorry, but barring death or dismemberment, there is no excuse for my brother not showing up for his niece's wedding. Right now, this brother is on everyone's shit list. While we are not terribly surprised that he did this, it pisses us off that this sibling is so incredibly irresponsible.

I ask my question again: why can't everyone just take care of their responsibilities? What causes some people to grow up and be responsible and others to be childish and irresponsible their entire lives? If he were the youngest in the family, I might say that's part of the problem, but he's not. I am!  I certainly do not act like this. I keep hoping that one day he will grow up and become an adult, but I'm thinking I won't see that happen ... certainly not during my lifetime. Perhaps he'll grow up one day, but I doubt it.

The only good thing about him not showing up for the wedding: it turned out to be a drama-free, beautiful wedding! I wish my lovely niece and my new nephew all the happiness in the world.

Personal Funding Websites (GART)

There's something that I never, ever thought that I would do: ask people for money. It's something that I've always been uncomfortable with. When I worked in the corporate world and they asked if I could help with making collection calls, I had to beg off because I'm horrendous at asking for money - even when it's owed. Even in the past, when people would sponsor me for charitable events, like the AIDS walk, I would have a hard time collecting. It's a pride thing.

But, "times they are a changin'."  While having a conversation with a friend a few weeks back, I had mentioned that my Great American Road Trip might need to be amended due to monetary issues. I spent a little too much in Europe, plus some additional unexpected expenses when I got home caused my bank account to drop a little more than expected. Determined to still complete this trip, I decided that I would just have to be very, very careful. That's when my friend suggested that I sign up with a personal funding website, so that people can sponsor my trip. What? That's a thing now? Having only known about sites like Kickstarter which are business related, she gave me the low down. It turns out there are several websites where people can ask for funding for whatever they need: medical expenses, funeral costs, new car, etc. Who knew? Some of the stories on these sites are unbelievably heartbreaking.

I thought about her suggestion for a few weeks and then finally decided to give it a shot. What did I have to lose? Yesterday, I set up my personal funding website on GoFundMe, which is one of the best rated sites. It's easy to set up and get running. I've already had several generous friends and family members sponsor my road trip. While I've had to swallow my rather large pride to set up this site, I'm grateful for anyone who makes a donation. It's amazing the kindness of others.

If anyone is so interested in helping to sponsor my road trip, my personal site is Sandi's Great American Road Trip. For anyone who has uber-rich friends who are kind-hearted, feel free to send them the site.  ;-)

An Ancient Spanish Monastery and an English Pub (GART - Stop 5)

The latest road trip stats:

Savannah odometer mileage: 93,902
Odometer mileage at destination: 94,425
Miles driven to destination: 523
Total miles driven to date: 1,436
States driven through: Georgia and Florida

Okay, perhaps the miles driven to destination is a little wonky because I've been in South Florida since Saturday, but it is total amount between the two sites about which I'm writing. Get over it. :-) I spent most of Saturday through Monday with my brother, sister-in-law, niece, and my niece's fiance, catching up and doing wedding stuff. The wedding is set for Saturday and there's much still to be done to make it a magical day for them.

Yesterday (Tuesday), I was lucky enough to spend the afternoon with one of my favorite friends from high school, Lee, and it was an amazing day with lots and lots of laughs. We started with lunch at a lovely Thai restaurant around the corner from a tourist attraction that we decided to visit. Delicious food and catching up on 30 years of lost time. Where did the time go?

After lunch, we headed over to an Ancient Spanish Monastery (photo above). What is a Spanish monastery doing in South Florida? I'll tell you. The monastery was built between 1133 and 1141 in Sacramenia, Spain. Cistercian monks occupied the monastery for nearly 700 years. After a social revolution in the 1830s, the cloisters were seized, sold, and converted into a granary and stables. In 1925, William Randolph Hearst, the American newspaper mogul, purchased the cloisters and had the buildings dismantled stone by stone, packed with protective hay in 11,000 wooden crates, and shipped to the U.S. The boxes lay in storage for 26 years, before they were purchased in 1952 by two entrepreneurs. "It took 19 months and the equivalent of nearly $20 million dollars (in today’s currency) to put the Monastery back together. In 1953 Time magazine called it 'the biggest jigsaw puzzle in history'" (ASM website). This monastery is a beauty. What made Hearst purchase and dismantle the monastery, I do not know, but I'm certainly glad that we got a chance to see this lovely site. We even saw a family of raccoons (photo left). 

After that 'grueling' stroll through the monastery, we decided we needed some adult beverages, so we made our way to the Shops at Pembroke Gardens, in Pembroke Pines. There's a lovely pub there called The Pub! Okay, maybe it's not the most terribly inventive name, but the decor is English pub inspired. Oddly, the staff all wear kilts which is Scottish, but I'm not one to nitpick. The beverages of choice were margaritas for me and fuzzy navels for Lee. Drinking in the afternoon will often bring out the weirdos - no, I do not mean Lee and me. Sitting at the bar next to us was an older couple (in their 60s), who seemed like a sweet couple, that is until they had a few drinks in them and started talking to another female patron. Then things got...erm...how shall I put it...creepy! The more the alcohol flowed, the creepier it got - and coincidentally, the funnier it got. It's impossible for mere words to do justice to this Viagra-alcohol induced train wreck, but suffice to say that it was the best entertainment value for our money. Eventually to try to rid ourselves of the visual, we decided that a shot was needed. Sadly, it didn't work. There are just some things you cannot unsee.

Such an amazing day spent with my dear friend. Love, laughter, and friendship - what else do you need?

Check out all the photos from the Spanish monastery and pub visit on my GART photo site. By the way, just a little side note on driving from the Florida state line to anywhere south of that. It is the longest and most boring drive EVER!

Lee and I at the monastery

 

The Call With the Oncologist (A Cancer Update)

It's been 12 days since my latest CT scan and the oncologist finally saw fit to call me this morning to discuss the results and her recommendations. First, she had to apologize for not calling me before today. Of course, it helped that I had a 10 minute diatribe with the receptionist regarding the doctor's lack of response in calling me. I even threatened to find a new doctor, so you bet your ass she should apologize.

Anyway, the long and the short of it is that Dr. J. made the exact same recommendations that my last oncologist made (blog: Weighing the Options): chemo, Tamoxifen, or Bevacizumab. Yeah, nothing new. No additional treatments available. No cure for what I have.

I told her that I'm away and whenever I return to Philadelphia, we'll meet, but I'm not changing my mind. I will remain treatment free. The one thing that I missed from reading the test results myself was that there is some fluid in my lungs (pleural effusion), which I will have to keep an eye on. If it gets worse, then I'll go to urgent care and have the fluid drained - now doesn't that sound like a fun way to spend some time.

That's all I have to report on the cancer front. Right now, I'm enjoying the gorgeous Florida weather, well away from the snow and sleet of the north. I'm having fun spending time with family and friends here in Florida. I can't wait for my niece's wedding and my trip to Orlando to see Micky and Harry Potter.

All I have to say is:

A Lovely Day in the Elegant City of Savannah, GA (GART - Stop 4)

The latest road trip stats:

Charleston odometer mileage: 93,765

Odometer mileage at destination: 93,902

Miles driven to destination: 137

Total miles driven to date: 913

States driven through: South Carolina and Georgia

I think I'm in love... with Savannah, GA! If I were in the market for a new place to make my hometown, Savannah would definitely be on the short list. Filled with friendly people, plenty of activities, and mild winters make this city a pleasant place to visit and, according to locals, a great place to live.

Savannah is Georgia's oldest city and was founded by General James Oglethorpe, a British general, in 1733, who created a unique design for the city. The city's historic district has 22 park-like squares, surrounded by 4 residential blocks and 4 civic blocks. For me, the design makes the city seem more homey and comfortable. Also, Savannah has many significant historical landmarks; such as the birthplace of Juliette Gordon Low (founder of the Girl Scouts of the United States of America), the Georgia Historical Society (the oldest continually operating historical society in the South), the First African Baptist Church (one of the oldest African-American Baptist congregations in the United States), Temple Mickve Israel (the third oldest synagogue in America), and the Central of Georgia Railway roundhouse complex (the oldest standing antebellum rail facility in America) - just a drop in the bucket of some of the amazing things to see in this city of 140,000 inhabitants.

My day in Savannah was fabulous! It started with a 90-minute trolley tour around the 2.2 square mile historic district, which was a great way to get an overview of the city and for me to make decisions on which sites were "must sees". The trolley did make one quick 10 minute stop at the Catholic cathedral, which was a perfect amount of time to dash in a take a couple of photos. When the tour was completed, I made my way to the first site that I wanted to see:

Owens-Thomas House, which is considered by architectural historians to be one of the finest examples of English Regency architecture in America. The house was designed by an English architect William Jay and was completed in 1819 for a cotton merchant, Richard Richardson. After suffering financial losses, the house was sold and went through several different hands before it was donated to the Telfair Museum of Art. The tour of the house was interesting and actually a little weird and awkward because I was the only person on the tour. The house is beautifully decorated with early 19th century period pieces and is an elegant reminder of simpler times. (Photography is not allowed inside of any of the historic homes or museums.)

Next I walked around town, taking random photos, including a photo of identical houses built side-by-side by a father for his identical twin girls. His intent was to address their constant fighting over everything, but inadvertently, the twins ended up fighting over who would get what side. Oops.

I finally meandered my way to the one place that was on the top of my list to see: the Mercer Williams House Museum. If you're familiar with either the book or the movie, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, then this house should ring a bell. Designed by John S. Norris for General Hugh Weedon Mercer (great-grandfather of the songwriter Johnny Mercer), construction of the house began in 1860. Construction was interrupted by the American Civil War, and finally completed around 1868 by a new owner, John Wilder. For a period in the twentieth century, the building was used as the Savannah Shriners Alee Temple. It then lay vacant for a decade until in 1969, Jim Williams, one of Savannah’s earliest and most dedicated private restorationists, bought the house and restored it. Today, the house is privately owned by Mr. Williams' sister, Dorothy Kingery. This house quickly became one of my favorite places that I have visited (including Europe). I'm not certain why I was so charmed by this house. Maybe it was the personal touches. So much of the house was meticulously restored by Mr. Williams and he had the most exquisite taste! It could be that I love it because this house is still a home. It's not just a museum. I don't know but if you get to Savannah, see this house.

On my way to my next stop (Telfair Academy), I took a slight detour past Mrs. Wilkes Dining Room, a unique restaurant. Generally, there is an hour to two hour wait to eat lunch at this family-style restaurant where strangers eat along side each other. The hairstylist I went to in Charlotte recommended this restaurant, but sadly, it is closed for the entire month of January. I'm not a fan of waiting an hour or two for lunch anyway. A few minutes later, I arrived at the Telfair Academy of Art and Science, which is a historic mansion turned into an art museum. It houses some interesting artwork by artists of which I have never heard. There were a few that were pretty memorable, but I especially liked a painting entitled La Parabola (A Parable), painted by an Italian artist named Cesare Laurenti. It's difficult to describe the painting, but feel free to click the link to see it.

My last stop was across the street from the Academy: the Jepson Center for the Arts. It's Savannah's modern art museum. I'm not much of a modern art fan, but I wanted to go to the museum because it houses a sculpture that I wanted to see: Sylvia Shaw Judson’s Bird Girl (the sculpture from the book cover of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil). The sculpture used to stand in Bonaventure Cemetery, but after the release of the film, people were flocking to the cemetery to see the statue. There was a fear that the sculpture might be stolen so it was permanently moved, first to the Academy and now the Jepson. She is quite remarkable and I'm so thrilled I got a chance to see it.

It was time for some dinner, so I headed back to my hotel and found a local restaurant. While eating dinner, a question ran through my head: are green beans still considered healthy if they contain bacon and ham? Of course, I suppose the point is moot if you're eating fried chicken and mac and cheese with the green beans. Ahhhhhh, you have got to love the South!

I thoroughly enjoyed my time in Savannah. She's a beauty!! Check out all my photos of Savannah on my GART photo site! 

The minute I post this blog, I hit the road -- heading to my brother, Tim's house in Boca Raton, FL. More from the Sunshine State where I hear it's 80 degrees.

The twin houses

 

A Brief Visit to Charleston, SC (GART - Stop 3)

Here are the stats for Stop 3:

Charlotte odometer mileage: 93,559

Odometer mileage at destination: 93,765

Miles driven to destination: 206

Total miles driven to date: 776

States driven through: North Carolina and South Carolina

Due to a later start than planned, my half day visit of Charleston was more like a couple of hours. Sad. Why the 2 hours delay in leaving Charlotte? A haircut! I admit: it wasn't the best date and time to get an appointment because it put me way behind schedule. I departed Charlotte around 11:15 and arrived at the visitor's center in downtown Charleston at 2:45. 

Founded in 1670 as Charles Towne in honor of King Charles II of England, Charleston is the oldest and second largest city in South Carolina. Thanks to the slave trade, Charleston was soon one of the wealthiest cities in the colonies.  

The visitor's center had a ton of information what to see in the city, much more that I could possibly fit into my short time here. Therefore, I decided that arriving so late in the day, I could only pick one thing to do. A tour of Fort Sumter was out of the running because the last boat tour is at 2:30. I decided I would choose one of the fabulous historic homes to explore. The Edmondston-Alston House seemed a good choice. I jumped back in my car and drove to the house, only to find that it was closed for yearly maintenance. ARGH! I checked the map to see if there might be another home close by and lo and behold, the Nathanial Russell House (see photo above) was a mere 2 blocks away - and, even more important, it was open for tours!

Completed in 1808, the Russell House is a Federal style townhouse which was built by Nathan Russell, a wealthy Rhode Island merchant, and the house is widely recognized as one of America's most significant neoclassical dwellings. The interior of the house is gracefully beautiful with a front rectangular room, a center oval room, and a square room in the rear. The rooms are tastefully decorated with period pieces. It is definitely worth a visit if for no other reason that to see the magnificent free-flying (or floating) staircase. As with many houses, photography is not allowed inside, so I cannot show you how interesting and beautiful this home is. If you ever get to Charleston, this house is a must see. 

After touring the house, I decided to have an early dinner. Before leaving Charlotte, my cousin, Martin recommended that I head over to Sullivan's Island and have dinner at Poe's Tavern. I am glad that I took his advice. The tavern is named (and themed) after the great American author, Edgar Allan Poe (one of my favorite authors). Interestingly, after a brief stint at the University of Virginia, Poe enlisted in the army under the pseudonym Edgar Allan Perry, claiming he was 22 years old (he was 18 at the time). Poe was stationed at Fort Moultrie at the western end of Sullivan’s Island for thirteen months beginning November 18,1827. This restaurant pays homage to Mr. Poe and it's magnificent. The food recommendation from my cousin and his wife were to either get a burger or the fish tacos. I went with the recommendation from my server: The Sleeper - a burger with roasted garlic blue cheese and Buffalo fried shrimp. Yep, it is aptly named because upon eating said burger you are immediately put into food coma! It was worth every single calorie.

That sums up my very brief visit to Charleston. I wish I could have spent a little more time there, but at least I feel I did well with the time I had. Check out the Stop 3 photos on my GART photo site!

Hitting the road - with a new 'do.

Time Spent in Charlotte and Asheville, NC (GART - Stop 2)

Here are the stats for arriving at Stop 2:

Richmond odometer mileage: 93,248

Odometer mileage at destination: 93,559

Miles driven to destination: 311

Total miles driven to date: 570

States driven through: Virgina and North Carolina

As I prepare to head off today to Charleston, South Carolina, I would like to reflect on my time in the Greater Charlotte area and my visit to Asheville. Mostly, this visit was about spending time with family. Unfortunately, the weather in NYC and business appointments kept my cousin, Martin, from home, but his lovely wife, Trish, and my amazing nearly 90-year old aunt, Jo, more than made me feel welcome and at home. I won't bore you with the details of time spent with family - but we did look at a lot of old photos. Really fun!

What do you know about Charlotte, NC? Not much? Yeah, me either. I just assumed that it was all about the banking industry with the headquarters of Bank of America and Wells Fargo located here, but Charlotte has a surprisingly vibrant culture. The city center (called "uptown") is heavily concentrated with museums, theatres, sporting venues, shops, hotels, restaurants, and bars. NODA, another neighborhood in Charlotte, is a popular arts district, with galleries and other entertainment venues. I didn't get much time to explore either one of these neighborhoods. My cousin's wife gave me the 10 cent quick overview car tour, but I would like to come back and check it out in more depth.

Yesterday, Trish, Aunt Jo and I traveled to Asheville, NC where the Biltmore estate is located. The Biltmore House (photo above) is the largest privately-owned house in the United States. The house was completed in 1895 and is a spectacular house. It rivals all the great palaces of Europe with is splendor. Still owned by the Vanderbilt family, the house has 250 rooms, including 33 bedrooms for family and guests, 43 bathrooms, 65 fireplaces, three kitchens and 19th-century novelties such as electric elevators, forced-air heating, centrally controlled clocks, fire alarms and an intercom system. It has a indoor swimming pool, gymnasium, and male and female changing rooms. Unfortunately, photos are not allowed in the residence, but trust me when I say it is stupendous. I would like to go back for another visit to the Biltmore House, because from Feb 5 to May 25, they are having a special event: Dressing Downton. Visitors will be able to see more than 40 costumes from Downton Abbey. There were already a few scattered around the House as a teaser.

All in all it was a fun 3.5 days, but it's time to move on. Check out the limited photos taken from Stop 2 at my GART photo site.